The Present Is A Gift
by xKumax
Summary: Karm's finding it hard to live in the present when she has to protect her family from their enemies but also herself. Her past seems to be causing trouble but so is her future. How can you protect someone from something you haven't even lived through yet?
1. An Old Beginning

**Author's notes- **I don't own the TMNT, any of their friends, associates or arch enemies just Karma.

This starts off at the end of season three, just before the episode 'Bishop's Gambit'. I really want to lead off onto my own kind of stories, so I'm only doing the main arcs of the cartoon series, like the Shredder's exile and... those other crazy important arcs.

I forgot to fill you in on all this stuff, so...

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait finished at episode 6 of season 3, when Professor Honeycutt was thought to be dead and gone and, of course, Same As It Never Was started at the arc where Ultimate Drako sent everybody through time and space. Pretend i'm not a lazy author who didn't write all the stuff that happened between the end of the Triceriton invasion and the start of the Ultimate Drako arc and it all happened.

Just for a recap, Mikey has Klunk (as you'll see here), Stockman was a brain but Chaplin built him a huge new robotic body, Leatherhead was temporarily living with the turtles but now has his own space and Professor Honeycutt has found his way onto Don's palmtop/a new robotic body. Oh, and did I mention Shredder's back in the picture...?

On with the chapter, Karm's point of view.

An Old Beginning…

I find myself being gently coaxed back to reality by the murmur of voices. Instinctively, I reach for my shell cell and flip it open to check the time. 23:27 glares at me and I blink back in defence at the bright screen.

_'That's early for me to be in bed…'_

That's when it all comes flooding back.

The shouting, the crying, an infamously heated argument with an infamously fiery turtle. I feel my eyelashes still heavy with the tears wept hours ago.

Sighing, I pull myself from the bed, the springs lurching beneath me. I flick the lamp on with one hand whilst tugging up my pyjama shorts with the other. Still a little dazed and eyes heavy, I grope around until I find a warm black sweater. I yank the clothing over my head to find the source of the warm material winding himself around my legs.

"Klunk."

I tut at the kitten, imaging my sweater to be more orange than black. His eyes glint in the dark, softening in a pouting manner at me.

"I can't stay mad at you, can I?"

Confirming that, I pick him up, cuddling him close to me whilst a purr rumbles within his chest. Gingerly, I push my door open with my free hand, the contented kitten cradled in the crook of my left arm.

"I think we should check on her."

My oldest brother's voice drifts up as I quietly pull my door closed.

"She wants space, give it her. She's probably asleep now, I haven't heard her crying."

Leo sighs, "I hate hearing her cry."

"Me too."

"Raph can be so… malicious towards her, I mean, _swearing _at her? What is he thinking?"

"He's not thinking, that's the problem. His anger can overrule him, like Karm's depression can overrule her. Neither are a good thing and as a combination, they're even worse."

"We need to do something to cheer her up, Donny."

"Any ideas?"

"I don't need cheering up."

I flinch inwardly as my voice comes out weaker than I wanted it to and two sets of deep brown eyes snap up at me.

"I'm sorry Karm, we just want to help."

"I know, Donny."

I sigh, giving Klunk's chin a little rub and descend the stairs. His yellow eyes close as his purr rumbles even deeper in his chest.

"Miaooow."

"I'm guessing he slept on your clothes again?"

Klunk jumps down from my arms as I get to the bottom of the stairs and Leo comments on my cat hair clad sweater.

"Can you tell? It'd help if he wasn't orange and most of my clothes weren't black."

My eyes follow the kitten plod into the kitchen, his long tail displayed proudly in the air.

"…I'll be back in half an hour."

"Why, where are you going _ani_?"

"For a run, I won't be long."

The blue banded turtle strolls out of the Lair, leaving both Donny and I puzzled at the twinkle in his eye and the smile on his lips.

"What got into him?"

"Beats me."

Don picks up the TV he was working on and ambles into his lab, muttering, "this is the last time, if Raph throws another TV across the room because his team isn't winning, _he_ has to fix it."

I wander after my peeved brother, missing the cuddliness of Klunk in my arms.

"Sorry Donny."

"What for?"

He puts the TV down on his desk, his face contorted into a deep frown.

"Mine and Raph's argument, I'm guessing everybody heard it down here, huh?"

"Everybody heard Raph, but Karm, don't apologise, it's not your fault."

"Yes it is, if I'd just tell him what happened when Drako flung us across time and space…"

"You don't HAVE to tell anybody, not even Master Splinter. I haven't told him what happened-"

The purple banded turtle stops in his tracks, flinching a little at his words.

"Yeah… you haven't told us what happened to you. I'm guessing it wasn't pleasant."

"No, it wasn't." He sighs. "It just… Raph and Mikey had a great time wherever they went, and I got stuck in this… this… nightmare."

He looks up at me with sad brown eyes.

"I was stuck in a nightmare too, Donny, and it was all my fault."

"No it wasn't, I can guarantee it was my fault…"

A long, sad silence falls across Don's lab as we both reflect back on our memories. I finally speak, finding the silence too much to bear.

"What happened to you?"

"I-I… Drako sent me to our future…"

My eyes snap up and widen in horror.

'_Oh please, please don't say I mess up this future too.'_

"I ran away… Raph and Leo weren't talking; Mikey… poor Mikey was left all alone… April was too, and you…" his eyes start to glass over, "Shredder had his fun with you…"

"H-how?"

"…Your shell was ruined Karm."

I clamp my eyes shut and shake my head.

"No Donny! Please, don't, please."

"I'm sorry Karm, I'm sorry… it's my fault… I'll do anything so it won't happen, I promise you."

For the second time that night, I start to cry, unable to bear the tone of my normally happy brother's voice.

"I'm sorry." Don whispers to me as he wraps his arms around me. "I'm so sorry Karm."

"No." I choke back my tears. "We won't let this happen Donny, our family is not going to be split up because of Shredder, **this ends now**. He won't break us apart, I won't let him, even if… even if it means my life."

"Please don't say that."

"I'm sorry, but I mean it, we can do this."

"...I-I believe you."

Donny and I stand hugging for what seems like hours, when in reality it's probably only 5 minutes. When we finally break away, I give his hand a small squeeze.

"We'll be okay."

Solemnly, he nods then glances to the broken TV lying on his desk.

"C'mon, forget the TV, let's go watch it instead of fixing it. There might be some late night Mythbusters on."

He chuckles a little, "you always know how to make things better, Karmy."

"You bet I do." I smile weakly back at him.


	2. And A New Arrival

**Author's notes- **I don't own the TMNT, any of their friends or the bad guys out to get them. I do own Karma and another little character you're about to be introduced to.

Last chapter and this chapter just kind of lead on from each other, but I didn't want to make it one huge chapter, so here you go.

Leo's point of view, just 'cause I wanted a bit of a change. This story will prob'ly just be Karm's POV mostly, but maybe a few different ones every now and again.

…And a new arrival.

When I return to the Lair, I find Don and Karm sitting together on the sofa, watching a programme on the Discovery Channel. I smile slightly at my siblings, and try to sneak upstairs quietly.

"Leonardo."

My smile broadens as Karm shuffles in her seat to look at me.

"Oh where have thou been?"

Donny glances at her, his face puzzled.

"You went from sounding like Master Splinter… to ye olde English?"

She grins at him, before turning her gaze to me again. I carefully walk towards the sofa and shake my head good-humouredly.

"Anyway, where have you been?"

"I told you, out for a run."

"You're not fooling us Leo," Don turns around to look at me, "What were you doing?"

"I told you, nothing." I chuckle.

Karm gasps, her eyes lighting up in a Mikey-at-Christmas-time-way.

"Kitty!"

Hearing the purr rumbling down my ear and the fur brushing against my neck, I finally give in.

"Okay, you got me." I pick up the kitten and smile. "But he was supposed to stay in my hands behind my back."

"You got _another_ kitten? After the fuss you made with Klunk?" Don raises an eyeridge.

"Well, Klunk is Mikey's cat, that just spells disaster. This kitten is Karm's."

"Leo!" She gasps. "You didn't need to get me a kitten!"

"Well, I knew you were upset, and you love Klunk, but he is pretty much attached to Mikey at the hip when he's not sleeping on your clothes, and, well, Angel told me a few weeks ago she'd found some kittens and was looking for a home for them… this little guy was the last one left."

I pass over the green-eyed cat to my sister and her face breaks out into a huge smile.

"Leo… you really shouldn't have, what's Master Splinter going to say? And Raph? And KLUNK?"

On cue, Mikey comes downstairs clutching his orange kitten.

"What's Klunk going to say about what?"

"This."

Proudly, Karm holds up her present and Mikey's face drops.

"KLUNK, YOU'VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND!"

"Uh, Mikey, he's a boy."

"Oh… Uh, sorry Klunk."

Klunk gives a sarcastic glance to his owner before leaping out of his arms to meet the new arrival of our family. Karm's kitten glances up at her before she sets him down on the ground to meet Klunk.

The two cats creep forward, their eyes searching the other before Klunk happily trots over and brushes against the black kitten.

"Miaoow!"

"Mew."

"Aww, look at that." Karm smiles.

Klunk goes to playfully tap Karm's kitten who then trips over his own feet to try and get away.

"Klunk, be nice!"

"Miaow."

The orange cat flattens his ears at his owner's stern voice then bounds over to the smaller cat. Warily, the black kitten watches Klunk walk over to him to brush against him, then lick his head.

"I think Klunk's made a friend, Mikey."

"Oh no! Don't replace me Klunk, pleaaase!"

Both cats glance at Mikey and tilt their heads at him.

"Uh… okay, good!"

"He doesn't understand you."

"Who does?"

My purple banded brother smiles at my quip.

"Ha ha."

"What are you going to name him, Karm?"

"How about… Superman? Or Spiderman? Or Silver Sentry!"

My sister gives Mikey a sarcastic glance, before looking back down at her kitten.

"Theodor, or Theo for short."

I smile at my sister and she grins back at all of us.

"C'mon Theo, let's go to bed. You can sleep on my clothes, you might blend in a bit better than Klunk does."

She gathers him in her arms, Klunk and the kitten meowing to each other whilst she gives me a big hug.

"Thank you Leo, you really didn't have to."

"It's my pleasure Karm."

"Night, night Donny, night Mikey."

"Goodnight Karm."

"Theo?" Mikey blinks. "Laaame!"

The green banded turtle rolls her eyes and I watch her ascend the stairs. Whilst Mikey picks up Klunk, Don gives me a small knowing smile and retreats back into his lab.

"C'mon Klunk, we've got milk and cookies calling our names!"

My youngest brother bounds off into the kitchen and I sense another presence behind me.

"Leonardo."

"Sensei." I turn and bow. "I'm sorry I didn't consult you earlier, it was-"

He raises a paw to silence me.

"All I wish for is my children's happiness. If that must mean another member of this family, then it must be done."

"Thank you sensei."

"Though I am certain having two members of this family with similar names will cause trouble. Good night my son."

With a little frown, I bid night to my father and find tiredness sweeping over me. Ascending the stairs and walking into my sanctuary, my mind drifts off into thought.

'_It was only a small gesture, I hate seeing her unhappy… Theo… I wonder why she called him that?'_

I push the thought into the back of my mind to find the peaceful wave of sleep breaking over me as I curl up in bed.


	3. A Nasty Surprise

**Author's notes-** I don't own the TMNT, any of their friends, associates or arch enemies just Karma.

Back to Karm's point of view.

A nasty surprise.

"Klunk! Theo!" I giggle. "Get off! You're tickling!"

Both kittens tilt their heads at me from their place on my side and as I roll over onto my back, they both jump onto my plastron. With a good-humoured eye roll, I start to tickle both kittens' chins, a purr echoing out from each of them.

"Klunk! I thought you were my friend!"

"Sorry Mikey." I grin. "He likes me better now."

The 'chuck spinning turtle glances down at me worriedly then his short attention span warns him about something else much more interesting to do. He quickly scoots off in the direction of Donny's lab as Master Splinter comes out from his room.

"Hi sensei!" I wave my hand around lazily in the air.

"Good morning, my daughter. Where are your brothers?"

"Mikey and Donny are in the lab but I don't think Leo's-"

"Morning sensei."

Leo stops halfway through his descent of the stairs to bow stiffly before leaping down the last few flights.

"…Awake." I tilt my head back to grin at my brother. "Last one up Leo? Tsk tsk, unlike you."

"I was up a bit later than usual." He rubs the back of his neck.

"Our morning training shall start shortly, my children."

Our rat master makes his way into the kitchen for some tea, the one thing that prepares him for the atrocity of Michelangelo's attention span first thing in the morning.

"Mew."

Theo happily greets Leo whilst Klunk busies himself with biting my obi belt.

"He likes you."

"Hm, if you say so."

"What's wrong?" I sigh playfully.

"Nothing." Leo bends down to stroke Theo's head.

"Leo…"

I roll my eyes, a glimpse of red catching my attention. Raph strolls in from the dojo, amber eyes glancing down to me for a moment before looking to Leo.

"Morning Raph."

"Mornin' Leo."

He carries on walking past, straight into the kitchen, without another glance behind.

"You haven't made up?" My eldest brother raises an eyeridge.

"Yeah, well…"

"Shall I talk to him?"

"No."

"Karm-"

"Leave it."

He backs off at the sternness of my voice and leaves me to play with the two cats.

"You're half of the problem anyway…" I mutter to myself.

When Master Splinter appears a few minutes later, I pick Klunk and Theo up and put them on the comfort of the couch.

"Stay here you two and try not to cause any trouble."

They both look up with their big kitten eyes, Klunk's a sparkling shade of gold, Theo's a mysterious pool of green.

"Yeah, that's gunna be hard for you two, I know." I wander off to Don's lab. "Don, Mikey, c'mon, time for training."

Master Splinter sits in front of his room, eyes closed for the minute as Mikey, Don and I sit patiently in front of him, Leo and Raph shortly joining. We watch our father intently, his eyes still closed and his breathing light.

"My children… we have been victorious in battle… why?"

"Because… shell, we're **good**! OWW!"

Mikey rubs a newly sore bicep as Master Splinter settles with his walking stick again, eyes still shut.

"No Michelangelo. Our path of ninjitsu has lead us through our battles."

"Not one of _these_ training sessions…" Mikey grumbles.

"Michelangelo! Concentrate, please."

"Um, on what you're saying or what the shell those things are?"

We each crane around to see the direction he points in, the moon pool where several strange objects bob at the surface. As our master gets up, the rest of us take it as a queue to rise, even Klunk and Theo rushing over. Naturally inquisitive Klunk strays to the very edge of the pool and eyes up the suspicious floating cylinders.

"Donny, what are they?"

"I don't know." He replies to the blue-banded turtle. "But they sure don't look friendly."

My gaze flits from the cautious kitten at my feet to Raph standing, arms folded and face set into a frown. His eyes find mine for a moment then he quickly tears them away.

"Maybe… THEY'RE ALIENS!"

_**Thwack!**_

"OWW! Master Splinter! C'mon, twice in the past 5 minutes?!"

"It is as the great sage said... do not try your sensei's patience."

Don picks up his staff and nudges one of the objects.

"Don! What are you doing?! That could be explosive!"

"Please Leo, these primitive objects? They're probably just some junk that got washed away down the sewers." With a shrug the brainy turtle walks off.

"We will resume our training."

I feel fur bristle against my leg and look down to see Theo looking panicked, his tail fluffed out and the fur on his back prickled.

"What is it Theo?"

"Klunk?"

The ginger kitten backs up, hissing and spitting at the objects.

"Junk, huh?" Mikey says, picking up his cat.

Master Splinter suddenly falls to his knees and I pick up a faint ringing sound in the air.

"The noise…" Our sensei holds his delicate ears.

"Noise?" Leo frowns.

Klunk and Theo start to hiss and writhe, pushing their ears against any object they can.

"Can't you hear that?"

The four male turtles stop, straining to hear the noise driving the fluffiest members of our family mad.

"Only just…" Don scrunches his beak up. "But turtles aren't renown for their hearing."

"We need to get Master Splinter and the cats out of here."

Leo carefully supports his master and I take Klunk from Mikey then pick up Theo. Raph rushes for the keys to the Battle Shell as Mikey helps Leo with Master Splinter. Quickly, we rush into the elevator and pile into the armoured truck where Raph steps on the accelerator.

Our sensei thrashes against the noise almost inaudible to us whilst Don examines him.

"It must be some kind of sonic sound that's being projected throughout the city. It doesn't appear to bother us, or humans," Don glances out the window, "but other species it does."

"Like rats and cats." Leo nods, understanding.

I try desperately to sooth the distressed animals in my arms and throw panicked glances in Master Splinter's direction.

"What the shell?!"

The truck skids across both lanes of the road, throwing Leo and Donny against the side of the truck.

"Did you guys know about these things called seatbelts? They're designed for Raph's erratic driving."

Leo hurls an unimpressed look my way, before hurtling towards the front.

"What is it, Raph?"

"Jus' some 'copters shooting missiles our way an' a road block, nothin' I've not done 'fore."

"Watch the shell out dude!"

Raph slams on the brakes, sending Donny stumbling forward slightly, then wrenches the car into reverse.

"Raph-"

But before Leo could finish, the red-banded turtle had his foot down on the accelerator and sent the truck hurtling backwards.

"Why couldn't you turn like a normal person?!"

"Do I look like a normal person, Fearless?"

He reverses in an alleyway and once again slams his foot onto the accelerator.

"He got you there Leo!"

"Mikey, if I wasn't feeling carsick, I'd come and smack you upside the head."

Theo's green eyes look at me widely, expressing fear for being in a truck with a crazy driver whilst an invisible enemy makes his life hell.

"I'm sorry baby, I can't do anything."

I carefully stroke his head and he meows back, almost as if he understands. Suddenly, something crashes against the roof and rips it open like a can in a can opener.

"I thought this was an _armoured_ truck!"

"Yeah, well, nobody thought to armour the roof, it's not that often we get missiles through it." Donny replies to me.

Small balls fall from the missile onto the floor at my feet and Mikey turns back wide eyed.

"What the shell are those?!"

The balls start to hiss and suddenly blow up into streams of smoke. I quickly spin my chair away to shield the precious kittens in my arms but the smoke quickly finds its way into my lungs and eyes.

"Jeez, what kinda smoke bombs are these?!"

Raph expertly tears around a corner to a more secluded area and skids to a halt, almost tearing his door off in a bid to escape the smoke. Mikey jumps out too whilst Don flings open the back doors, coughing and spluttering.

"Are you okay Karm?"

Leo lightly touches my shoulder and I nod, coughing too much to speak. He takes Theo and Klunk from my arms and helps me out of the smoking van, then quickly goes back in to help Donny bring out Master Splinter.

Black armoured trucks quickly appear and block off our escape routes, soldiers then piling out.

"Bishop." I spit, recognising the uniform.

Klunk and Theo hiss from their place at my feet whilst Mikey and Raph draw their weapons. The soldiers close in on us, brandishing their guns like prizes.

"Drop your weapons!"

A few head for the doors to the truck where Master Splinter still sits in a seat, but I dive in their way, snarling and narrowing my eyes.

"Over my dead body."

The two men exchange glances.

"Gladly."

They raise their guns at me but I duck under them, sweeping their feet out before jumping up and kicking back another approaching one. In one swift move, I pull out my tessen and hold them out in an offensive stance.

"Bring it."

Immediately, the rest of the soldiers rush forward for my family and I, but we quickly meet them. I duck and dive under the guns, twisting and turning behind the soldiers before giving them a kick to the stomach or a punch to the face. One of the soldiers raises his gun to me, but another shouts at him.

"No! This one's supposed to go alive, remember?"

"Oh? I'm supposed to go alive? Then, I guess… I'm untouchable."

I grin evilly and punch the approaching soldier, then kick the gun from his hands. The heavy machine drops into my hands and I cock it, pointing it at the rest of the incoming soldiers.

"Hold it, right there!"

Without any hesitation, the black clad men raise their guns and I smirk.

"Tut tut, what would Bishop say if you brought him back my corpse? I don't think I'd be too impressed if I were him, do you? He seems like the wrong man to get on the bad side of, so I'd do what he asks."

Even the ones fighting with the male members of my family back off and Mikey grins at me, sticking out his tongue for good measure.

"Good. I'm glad we're clear."

I rest the butt of the gun on my hip, the barrel lying parallel to my side. As my family starts to head back to the truck, I don't take my eyes from the soldiers.

"Oh yeah," Theo and Klunk creep forward at my feet, hissing and spitting, "The cats don't appreciate the high pitched noise attacks, so back off with those too, okay?"

My cockiness is rewarded with a stray soldier coming up behind me and cracking my cranium against the butt of his gun. My eyelids automatically close and I don't even feel my body hit the floor.


	4. Dead And Alive

**Author's notes-** I don't own the TMNT, any of their friends, associates or archenemies but I do own Karma, her little furry feline friend and somebody you're about to be introduced to.

I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update, but it's a busy time of the year, at college and at home so I'm sorry if I don't get around to writing and replying to reviews as quickly as I did before. Bear with me, I promise I will get back to you.

I got the inspiration for the idea of this chapter from a book I just read called 'Lovely Bones', the author I really can't remember at all. It's kind of all about spirits and how they watch over you and if I'm honest, I just wanted to put this character in; he's a bit of a lovable rascal in a way. I really recommend the book by the way!

Enough of my muttering. Actually, there's end notes too, sorry!

Dead and alive.

"Hey, wakey wakey sis!"

I scrunch my eyes closed, the fuzzy voice invading my head sounding all too much like a hyperactive Michelangelo. Weakly, I wave my hand away and flinch at the thudding ache in my head.

"Not now Mikey, my head is killing me…"

"Mikey?"

As the voice comes through clearer, my eyes snap open. I trawl through everybody's voices in my head and as I realise don't recognise this one confusion sets in.

'_**Sis? **__But… it's not any of the boys, who else's sister am I?!'_

"C'mon sleepyhead, get up already."

Strong arms find their way under my armpits and lift me onto my feet. With slightly blurry eyes, I glance up to the new voice and find myself doing a double take.

"I'm either dead or dreaming."

"Eh, being dead is a lot more fun."

I blink. The male turtle blinks back then his face breaks out into a grin that looks almost too familiar. The feathered wings protruding from his warm brown shell bristle and shuffle as he tilts his head at me, a little perplexed obviously. My eyes find his, a deep shade of blue with flecks of green like a clear exotic ocean, then flick over the rest of him. He stands only a little taller than me, with his plastron chest puffed out in a proud fashion. His wings flutter over his shoulders, the feather tips tinged the same spring green as his skin, and the tips brush his calves. Whilst his muscles aren't as prominent as the normal male company I keep, he isn't scrawny and he looks to be the same age as me.

"Look, I've just been smacked in the skull, the world isn't making much sense right now, I'd appreciate it if you'd just tell me what kind of weird trap this is."

I glance at my surroundings as I talk; four white walls pressing into me whilst a white tiled ceiling bears down.

"Trap?" He raises an eyeridge and with a shake of his head continues, "You've got this all wrong, sis."

"And stop calling me sis."

"Oh, sorry, would you prefer sis_ter_?"

With a deep breath, I rub at my eyes and straighten my mask whilst he grins manically at me.

"Where am I?"

"It's hard to say," he glances around, "it's a little… bland in here."

"Okay. Who are you?"

"My name is Ai," his eyes darken a little, "**Don't** laugh, I know it's girly."

"Ai? The Japanese for 'love'?"

"Ah, so she remembers Japanese, is that right… _Innen?_"

"Don't call me that." My eyes narrow defensively. "The name's Karm."

"Sorry." He bows playfully. "I forgot you were growing up."

"How do you know me? I'm so confused."

"I can't really tell you much, I'm not supposed to, but I guess you heard all that before when you went back to the future."

"You sound like Mikey."

"Mikey? I keep hearing this name, is he your boyfriend?" Ai emphases boyfriend heavily, that irritating grin flickering across his features again.

"No!"

"Why so defensive, 'Karm'?"

"You want defensive? I'll give you defensive!"

"Whoa, whoa, hold it!" He backs up nervously, the grin fading. "I know you can kick my ass, even if I am your older brother."

"But you can't be my older brother, I don't have one… apart from Leo and Don and Mikey…"

"Don't you?" He leans forward, the grin back.

"You're just screwing with my head."

"Am I?"

"_Yes!"_

"Ah, sorry, that's not my job is it? I guess I'm supposed to tell you about me and Rai…"

"How do you know Shinrai?!"

My walls go up, an anger pushing against them, threatening to destroy them from the inside.

"She's your sister… but not… kind of. It's complicated, you'll find out." He shrugs his winged shoulders. "But look kiddo, believe me when I say I'm your older brother, and your guardian angel, if you believe in that kinda crap."

"You _do_ have wings."

"I always wanted to know what flying was." He flashes a bright grin. "When you're dead you get anything you want, even extra appendages."

"So I am dead? Killed by a Bishop crony, huh, what a way to go…"

"You're not dead sis, it's just a dream."

"This is a pretty vivid dream…"

"That's what a smack to the skull does."

He ruffles my hair for good measure.

I huff, "you really must be my older brother, you're irritating enough for it."

His eyes twinkle in delight, but a faint flicker of sadness shines through.

"Are you… dead, Ai?"

A hand immediately goes up to rub the back of his neck as his eyes fall to the floor. The proudly puffed plastron droops as do the wings.

"I… It's complicated. Even if I told you everything, you might wake up and not remember this."

"And how do I even know this is real? This might just be my vivid imagination coming to life."

"Then I'll tell you something you don't even know, well, realise. When Leo's nervous, he gets fidgety."

Subconsciously, my fingers drag through my hair and find my mask tails to fiddle with.

"This is… _bizarre._"

"There's something else you should know… if you remember. You can talk to me. You have a very strong connection with the spirit world Innen, even if you don't know it."

"So… you are-"

He holds up his hands, shaking his head solemnly.

"Yeah, I'm dead," he sighs, "It **ain't** fun, despite what I said before."

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. I'm kinda used to it by now."

I shuffle nervously, undecided on where to look or what to say. Finally Ai steps forward, the irritating grin vanished, seemingly for good.

"Innen… I'm always watching over you okay? And, I can't do much from my place, I'm pretty useless, but, I'm always listening. And…" He stops himself.

"What?"

"I don't want to get your hopes up, but… you might be able to contact me again like this."

"How?"

"Your meditation. We were always really in tune with each other sister, and that connection makes you likely to be able to find me in your meditation. I still can, even as a spirit."

"I always said to Master Splinter it's just like going to another place… I guess it's true. But, you meditate?"

"Have since I can remember." He smiles. "Think about it, we have Japanese names, but _why?"_

I shrug, the thought never occurring to me.

"Okay, let me let you in on a secret I probably shouldn't be telling you… we're Japanese by heritage. You'll understand some day, don't scrunch your beak up at me like that."

With a shake of my head I sigh.

"This is a strange dream."

This time Ai sighs, before speaking again.

"It's not just a dream… I guess that knock to the head unlocked some memories of me. But," he swallows hard, "I am your big brother, even if I doesn't look it, even if it doesn't feel like it, I am… and I miss you everyday."

His deep ocean eyes close before opening again, his hand coming from behind his back and producing a white rose. Tentatively, I step forward and take the rose before looking up at him.

"You are my big brother… I _feel_ it. And you know my favourite flower."

We exchange small smiles.

"There's something I need to say." Ai breathes in heavily. "Stockman… he did a lot of shit to us, shit you won't remember and I hope you never will. But, things will become clear. Just keep going Innen, you're not as far away from Shinrai as you think, _just keep going_.

You can do this, as much as you think you can't and that you want to end up in the same place I am. You don't, it's not as cool as I'm making it look." The serious face gone, a small grin replacing it, then vanishing again. "Stop shutting everybody away, they just want to help, as much as Mikey seems he just wants to bug you and Raph wants to shut **you** away and as much as it seems you can't go to Master Splinter... Make the most of your life; make it what _you_ want it to be. I know you think you can't escape your future, but you can."

"How?" I swallow the lump in my throat.

"You believe, sis."

Taking my cheeks in his hands, Ai uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears and make me look into his eyes.

"I love you, even from here."

"I… I'm so confused, is this just my head playing tricks?"

I shut my eyes and calm my breath, my head racing with thoughts and ideas.

"You'll have to see next time you meditate, won't you? I'm only a thought away sis, but you've gotta go back now, your day isn't over."

A small kiss brushes my forehead before I feel myself falling away, tumbling through darkness before my eyes snap open and my head once again throbs with pain.

"Uhh…"

The expression of my pain crawls out from my voice box and into the room in front of me. I blink a few times to clear a blurry and thudding head before tugging against the bonds holding me to an operating table. I glance to my side, seeing a wall of glass tubes holding the same cloned figure over and over, looking like something out of one of Mikey's really bad horror flicks.

"Oh my, this won't do, this won't do at all…"

I snap my head around at the familiar but impossible voice. A robotic figure stands at a huge control panel carefully examining it.

"If I press this… and release that… then hopefully…"

The bonds spring loose from my wrists, ankles and chest. Jumping down from the table, I rush over to the robot.

"Professor…?"

The robot shuffles around and gives a one handed wave.

"Karma, I think Master Splinter needs help."

"How…-"

"I will explain later, please, go help. I need to shut down those… those… _monstrosities!"_

Hesitating for a slight moment, I throw my arms around the robot.

"I'm glad to see you, _really_."

"Oh my…"

'_I think if robots could blush, Professor Honeycutt would be a dangerous shade of red!'_

I chuckle to myself before reaching into my obi for my tessen, intent on hunting down my prey: Bishop. As I pull the steel fans from my obi, a white rose falls to the floor and I blink.

'_It… wasn't a dream.'_

Yells and shouts pull me away from my thoughts, and as I tuck the rose into my obi, I push the thoughts to the back of my mind.

"The world has enough monsters! It does not need yours!"

I rush to the edge of the floor the Professor and I are on and watch Master Splinter narrow his normally kind eyes at a man standing a few feet away, swinging a claw on a metal chain.

"You want a monster?"

I jump down in front of my master, my tessen held protectively in front of my plastron.

"You got one right here. Nobody pisses me off and gets away with it."

"My daughter!"

"I'm fine sensei," I keep my eyes trained on Bishop, "If you wanna worry about anybody's safety, worry about his."

"Ha, you think you can take on me, Karma? Looks like you'll be going back to Stockman… in a box."

The evil smile spreads over his face and up to his eyes, giving them a devilish twinkle. Before he can blink, I clap my right-handed tessen closed and bring it up towards his jaw. He only partially dodges the blow, a painful _clunk_ reverberating around his mouth as his teeth clash together from the metal fan.

He brings his knee up sharply but I flip over my master as he dodges the knee, sending his foot sweeping towards Bishop's ankle. Unluckily for us, the man moves quickly backwards and swings his claw towards us. My master and I dive out of the way as the weapon lands, exchanging glances as we stand poised. I stamp down onto the metal chain as my sensei rushes for Bishop. Wide eyed, he pulls on the chain, hoping to unbalance me, but just as he does, I jump up, sending the claw careering for him. As it hits him in the chest, so does Master Splinter's foot, quickly followed by a sweeping kick to his feet.

"Professor, seal the tank quickly!"

I glance up to the higher level to watch Leo crouched and looking towards a tank filled with green liquid, Theo perched on his shoulder like a pirate's parrot.

"Leo! Theo!" I grin, my eyes quickly turning back to a horrified Bishop.

"No!"

"It's over Bishop." I step forward, eyes narrowed.

"I told you before… outnumbered yes, outclassed _never_."

The metal claw springs forward, aimed towards me but I quickly back flip out of the way, hearing hissing of electricity behind me. As I glance back, I realise Bishop has jammed his weapon into some kind of control panel.

"Idiot!" I hiss.

The man glares back at me behind his glasses and I watch as my sensei's ears twitch.

"Karma! My sons, my friends, we must go now."

As if on queue, my family, the Professor and Leatherhead peek over the railings running along the higher-level floor.

"Why dude? We got everything under control!"

A surge of water hits the back of Mikey's ankles, causing him to yelp out in surprise and as it hits the sparking control panel, it short circuits, causing the equipment to blow. Sensei and I dive for the floor but Bishop's reflexes are damaged by his horror at his slowly crumbling lab. When I finally pick myself up from the wet floor, my eyes drift to Bishop impaled on a hook. Feeling dizzy, I spin around, desperately trying to divert my eyes when strong arms surround me.

"_C'mon sleepyhead, get up already" _echoes in my head, and I find my whole dream flashing through my head again.

"_Innen."_

I look up to the person holding me, hoping it's Raph, then realising it's Leo.

"Why… why did you call me Innen?" I ask a little dazed.

"I… didn't…" Leo frowns.

I lift a hand to my head, trying to slow my thoughts.

'_Ai… Bishop… Wings… Leo… Theo… Hook… Raph… Water… __**Water**__.'_

I snap out of my dizziness.

"We need to get out of here, that panel controlled the water-"

Another wave of water comes flooding down and my family and friends brace themselves, Mikey carefully hugging Klunk to his chest.

"You will pay for this mutants, **one day you will pay!**"

We glance in the direction of the ghostly voice, a ladder leading upwards, only to see a flicker of a long black coat. Mikey gives a gasp as he looks at the hook again.

"He…"

"No time." Leo shakes his head. "We've gotta go."

Everybody heads for the exit, Raph not even glancing behind at me whilst Leo lingers behind with me.

"Are you-"

"I'm fine." I look away.

"Karm-"

"You said it yourself, there's no time."

I let my eyes drift to his for a moment, before retrieving my kitten from his shoulder and following everyone else. Hesitantly, Leo follows.

'_Leo… why do you fuss over me? I don't need it. __**I can look after myself**__.' _I think to myself defiantly, but a small voice, sounding almost like Ai's says, _'Can you?'_

As we find ourselves topside and quickly hurrying for an alleyway, I find myself wondering, _'when did life get so complicated?'_

**Author's notes-** I know I don't normally do end notes, but here I hate spoiling the story by saying these things at the top.

If you don't understand about Ai, please say so on your reviews! I'm always happy to answer questions.

I know how Bishop gets impaled on the hook is lame, but my muse is being uncooperative so I used the same kind of idea from the cartoon series.

The other thing, should Karm confront Leo about him acting weird around her? And even vice versa? Answers on a review/PM if you would be so kind. Thank you!

* * *


	5. Show Me How Defenceless You Really Are

**Author's notes- **I don't own the TMNT but I own an increasing number of characters in this story, Karma, Theo, Ai and Shinrai (who you've yet to met).

Well, you all told me you wanted a Leo/Karm chapter, but sorry it's a little bit Leo/Karm and Raph chapter which means because of said red-banded turtle, there will be some strong language. I would have made it go on but I couldn't because of what happens in the next chapters. I was thinking maybe i'll do another Leo/Karm chapter soonish and hopefully Ai will crop up again soon. I'll see what you all think of this first. Enjoy!

Oh, and it does split into two points of view, most of it is Karm and a little bit of Leo at the end.

Show me how defenceless you really are.

Karm's point of view.

"Raph."

I hurry behind the red-banded turtle storming his way towards the stairs. He huffs back at me, making no effort to slow down.

"What?"

"How long are you planning on ignoring me for?"

"Dunno."

"Raph-" I reach out for his shoulder but he shrugs me off. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"'Cause you won't talk ta me!"

He spins on his heels and I feel three pairs of eyes focused on us as we stand face to face in the middle of the Lair, both hearts pounding with anger.

"I can't believe you're acting this way just because I don't want to tell you what happened when Drako threw us through time."

"It's not jus' that." He snarls.

"Then what is it?"

Placing a hand on my hip, I watch as his amber eyes flicker over my shoulder and his expression changes from angry to some emotion I can't read. His eyes flick back to me, narrowing into dangerous slits.

"Ya know what it is."

I breathe in to shout back then glance behind me to see Leo standing with his arms full of kitten and Don at the doorway of his lab. Swallowing my words, I breathe out slowly trying to push my anger back down.

"No I don't because _you_ don't talk to _me_ either Raph. It's always 'you know what it is Karm' or 'I don't know', well news flash, you're the one who knows, I'm the one who doesn't, it's your head. Maybe if you started telling me, maybe I'd be able to do something about it."

Eyes surrounded and flecked with red study me carefully as emerald green fingers clench and unclench into an emerald green fist. A shaky breath shudders his plastron chest and he slowly and calmly turns away to walk up the stairs.

"I don't trust ya enough ta tell ya."

"What?" I manage to stumble out.

"I don't trust ya Karm, I don't think I ever have."

"But… I-I… why?!"

"I dunno."

"Yes you do!"

"**No I don't!** **I don't fuckin' know 'kay?!" **

He spits his words out venomously, hanging over the side of the stairs to throw a dark look my way.

"Raph, stop it, that's enough."

"This is our argument Fearless, back the fuck off!"

"No, _you_ back off, right now. Go run topside, go to bed, I don't care, just don't shout at her anymore."

As tears crawl down my cheeks I feel Theo brush against my legs and I twist around to look at the blue-banded brother.

"I don't need anybody to stick up for me! I can do this on my own!"

"But Karm-"

"No! Stop it, I don't need this!"

Pushing Leo away, I rush off into the dojo, my tears streaming down my cheeks and my sobs choking me.

"Look what ya did, thanks Fearless."

"Me?"

I shut the dojo door behind me; sliding down against it on my shell. A few moments later, a door slams upstairs and the soft _pat pat pat_ of feet on the stone floor alerts me to somebody wanting to talk or a kitten looking for answers.

"Imouto…"

Softly sobbing, I tuck my knees up to my plastron, my tessen and other various objects in my obi digging uncomfortably into my hip. My shell cell softly buzzes against me and I pull it out, knowing it's a text message from Raph.

'_He has to have the last world.'_

The cell screen announces,** "You ain't sleeping in here tonight." **

With an exasperated huff, I throw my cell on the floor along with my uncomfortable tessen and curl back up.

"I'm sorry, I only wanted to help."

"I didn't ask for help did I?" I half sob, half shout through the door.

"…I know. I should have stayed out of your argument, but I can't help it."

"Well help it next time, okay? You just made things a bunch worse."

"How?"

Leo's voice comes out soft, genuinely sorry and confused. I sniffle and untie my mask, glancing at the darkened spots on the fabric from under my eyes before rubbing them vigorously.

"…This argument started because of you."

"What did I do?" He sounds a little outraged.

"Raph has this crazy idea I have a thing for you or something. He reckons I tell you _everything_ and he's just there for… for… fuck only knows. Of course, then it got onto the thing about Drako and how I hadn't told him and he thought I went and told you as soon as we were home-… Sorry, I'm ranting."

"It's okay."

The door pushes back against me for a second and I guess Leo's sitting against the door on the other side.

"He doesn't really wanna know what happened, it was awful." I brush my hair back from my face and find my voice. "I was in this alternate universe where I was with you, and that wasn't awful, but you and Raph had fallen out and the family was a mess a-and we had a son called Yoshi… gah, sorry! This is just all crazy, part of me thinks I was dreaming it."

I sit listening carefully for any signs of life.

"Leo?"

"Yeah?" He replies in that same soft voice.

"It's mad isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Is that all you can say, Fearless?"

"Don't call me that."

Nervously, I bite at my lip; worrying about the tone of voice he speaks in. Once again my phone buzzes against the floor and I roll my eyes, knowing it's just from Raph again.

"**It's okay. You can sleep in Leo's room, huh?"**

The cell lands with a thud as I throw it again.

"…I'm sorry Leo."

"Why?"

"For shouting at you, he just…" I run my hands over my face, "he gets me so riled up. I love him, sure I do, but he knows how to piss me off… Do you think he really doesn't trust me?"

"I don't know Karm."

I tilt my head and glance back at the door, crossing my legs as I do.

"Leo?"

Nothing.

"Leo?"

"What?" He replies tiredly.

"I've upset you, haven't I?"

"No Karm, it's fine, I'm fine. Fearless is fine."

I wrench the door open and he falls backwards in a very un-ninja like and almost comical fashion. With a baffled expression, he lays staring up at me and I raise an eyeridge at him.

"Now I know there's something wrong. One, you called yourself 'Fearless' and two, even Mikey playing video games would have heard me coming then."

He props himself up onto his side, eyes fixated onto the dojo floor.

"I…" Leo exhales heavily. "Nothing."

"You remind me of Ai when you're sad…"

Deep brown eyes snap up at me, fixed in a confused frown.

"Ai?"

"I said Rai, as in Shinrai."

'_I'll tell him later, he doesn't need my shit now.'_

Solemnly he nods, eyes falling to the floor again.

"Leo, you know you can tell me anything, right? I know I can be a bitch, but I'm your _imouto_-"

"And that's why."

I blink back at his sudden outburst.

"Why?"

"It's why I can't talk to you Karm. You're my little sister, I look after you, not the other way around."

"Big brother, don't be silly, okay? We're both here to look after each other."

"But I'm supposed to protect you and I'm doing that all wrong."

"You do protect me, but I don't need protecting from Raph. Hell, whatever he says, he gets twice of it back."

"But he makes you cry, I should stop that-"

"You can't always stop me crying. It's better I cry sometimes, otherwise I get really really sad and can't let it out. You can cheer me up, but don't stop me crying. I think that's why Mikey's the best at cheering me up, he realises that, I guess he's like it himself. We're not the babies Leo; we just don't handle things the same way as some of the more mature members of our family do. But even Master Splinter cries, even you do."

"But I shouldn't." He starts to sound angry with himself.

"Why? Because it's a weakness? Because it means you can't cope? I know for a fact sensei didn't bring you up that way, that's just you beating yourself up on the inside."

"Yeah, well, I don't see the reasons not to."

"You're a wonderful person, I wish you'd see it."

"If I'm so wonderful then why-"

The blue-banded turtle stops himself, sitting upright and desperately clutching at his hands before they wriggle away again. My eyes trace his broad shoulders hunched over and head hung, his body language screaming 'go away'. My friend, my brother, my leader, never looking so vulnerable and defenceless to me than he is now.

"_When Leo's nervous, he gets fidgety." _

"Why are you nervous?"

"I'm not."

"Leo…" My voice turns stern.

"Because… Because the longer the stay here, the more I'll tell you."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Because you can't know, Karm, please, don't make me tell you."

"Tell me what?"

His right hand reaches for his face as he desperately tries to hide and as he speaks, he sounds torn.

"I can't."

"Leo…?"

As I reach out for him, peeking at his face, he pushes my hand away and I finally see his tear glittered eyes. I draw back, holding my hands together.

"Don't, please don't."

"I'm scared… what have I done?"

"Nothing… except being perfect." He whispers.

"I… I don't… what?"

"Karm… I've tried so hard not to tell you, I've tried so hard to keep it in, but I just can't anymore, _it's killing me_. If you laugh or shout, I'll just…"

"Shush, shush." I scoot over next to him, taking one of his shaking hands in mine. "I promise I won't laugh or shout, I promise Leo, and you know what that means to me."

He nods, eyes closed and breath shaky.

"I…"

"No, take your time, I have all the time in the world for you."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, other than Leo's sharp intakes of breath and heavy exhales.

"I… I loved you. I loved you so much. As I got to know you I felt myself falling and falling for you, but I knew Raph was too. I guess… I guess I'm the stupider one, he got there first and sometimes I feel he's done _nothing_ to deserve you. You were just so perfect to me and I loved you so much, but you chose Raph and… it just broke my heart. I hated him for having you and… I tried to hate you for choosing him, but I couldn't. I cared for you too much. That's why I'm so defensive. I hate him hurting you; I want to protect you from him, because that's all I can do for you now. You'll never love me, I know you won't, not in the way I loved you, but I know by just being a good big brother, maybe you'll love me that way instead."

"You… you…" Taking my hand from his, I clutch at my head. "You loved me?"

"With all my heart." Leo whispers.

Finding support in the doorframe, I lean against it, staring intently at Hamato Leonardo, his head still hung and eyes still trained on the ground with his legs tucked up neatly underneath him as his hands grasp at each other, turning his knuckles a pale green. My heart wrenches for my broken brother.

"Leo…"

"'Let what is past flow away downstream'."

He finally lifts his head to look at me with sad brown eyes causing my aching head and wrenching heart to start a screaming match at each other.

'_Tell him.' _My heart coaxes.

'_No, it'll hurt him even more.' _My head snarls in response.

'_Could he be anymore hurt?'_

'_If he _could_ be hurt anymore, it'd be by you Karma.'_

I give in to my heart, like I always do and crawl over to my brother and he accepts me into his arms, pulling me onto his lap.

"Leo, I did have a thing for you. It was you and Raph I liked but… something happened."

"What was it?"

"Raph jumped off the freighter for me… you didn't."

"Mikey was in trouble, I had to-"

"You don't need to explain yourself. He's your brother, I understand. It's just, that night, I guess I really fell for him."

"And if I jumped, you would have fallen for me…?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "I'm sorry things weren't different but-"

'_But this way I'm saving my own shell, maybe even quite literally.'_

Leo hugs me tightly, resting his head on the top of mine. I feel glad of how close he's letting me but at the same time, in my head i'm shouting at myself to stop.

"Things aren't different, I have to face that. I'm just glad I still have you as my little sister."

"And that'll never change Leo, I promise you that much."

A short silence sweeps over us as we hold each other, just being glad to be in each other's company. I finally break the moment by raising my head to ask a question.

"Do… do you still love me?"

"Only as a sister, Karm. I'm sorry, but you really did break my heart, I don't think I… I could ever love you in that way again."

"I guess that's good though, isn't it? I won't hurt you anymore?"

Neither of us sounds sure and we continue back to the thinking silence.

"Hey, look at us sitting outside the door, ha!" I shake my head, laughing slightly. "C'mon, it's getting late, we should both go to bed."

"You're right."

Clumsily, we untangle our bodies and I go into the dojo to collect the various objects on the floor. With one last brief hug and a mumbled 'goodnight', Leo and I continue upstairs, then go our seperate ways. I stand outside the room I share with Raph, his malicious messages flashing back into my mind, one in particular lingering.

"_It's okay, you can sleep in Leo's room huh?"_

I sigh, resting my head again the cool wood of the doorframe as I try to clear my head, only my anger stays at the surface, bubbling away until it boils over. I strike out at the stone wall with my fist, crying out in anger, then in pain as my knuckles tear against the surface.

"Karm?"

I glance over to my left, to see Raph at the door to our room, looking unsure and concerned. Clenching and unclenching my hand, I examine the small blood patches forming across my knuckles.

"_What?" _

"I-" He stops and sighs. "I'm sorry, alright? Don't hurt yaself 'cause yer angry at me. If ya wanna punch somebody, punch me, I know I deserve it."

"Damn right you do."

I laugh bitterly, standing up straight to look at him with darkened eyes. He shuffles uncomfortably then carries on, ignoring the remark.

"Uh, the bed's yours, I'm sleepin' on the sofa tonight."

"Wait, is this you apologising after an argument first? And then being nice to me? Even when I'm still angry?"

He only shrugs his broad shoulders, glancing down at the ground.

"I heard ya an' Leo talkin'."

"Eavesdropping more like."

"I got scared when ya moved close ta him, I thought that was it, ya were gunna kiss, an' it was all 'cause a' me, pushin' ya away."

"But nothing happened."

"I know… I guess Leo's a better brother than me. If ya were his girl an' I was in that situation-"

"Stop." I hold up my hands, one a little bloody, and close my eyes.

"Why?"

"You wanna know what happened to me? Drako sent me to the future, but it wasn't _our_ future, it was mine and Leo's."

Amber eyes widen, half disbelieving, half scared.

"Ya… ya were with Leo?"

"Yeah, I was. You two fell out, it was awful Raph, I came between you two and that's the one thing I never wanted to do. I love you both so much, albeit in different ways. He's just my big brother, I guess subconsciously I miss Ai…"

"Ai?"

With a small smile, I shake my head, "I'll explain, but first, are we cool tough guy? I'm not gunna go running off with Leo and now he wouldn't touch me with a barge pole because I hurt him, _comprende_?"

With a thoughtful smile, the red-banded turtle looks at me with twinkling eyes.

"Alright, only if I get an extra goodnight kiss."

"Don't push your luck."

We both exchange glances and Raph lifts me up into his arms, looking into my still teary eyes.

"I love ya."

"I love you too, ninja boy."

* * *

Leo's point of view.

After the small cry of pain, I creak open my door to find Raph and Karm talking outside their door. Quietly, I pull it shut, leaving a small gap for me to watch through.

"I'm sorry, alright? Don't hurt yaself 'cause yer angry at me. If ya wanna punch somebody, punch me, I know I deserve it."

"Damn right you do." I whisper.

"Damn right you do."

I find myself smirking a little at my sister then glancing away from her to the floor.

_'I'm glad we talked, even if things seem a little awkward now. I can't guarantee that I won't ever love her again because I did love her so much. No matter how much she hurt me, it wasn't on purpose, so how could I not love her again? Then again…'_

"I heard ya an' Leo talkin'."

Warning signals go off in my head, blaring and screaming, but I keep rooted to my spot.

"Eavesdropping more like."

"I got scared when ya moved close ta him, I thought that was it, an' it was all 'cause a' me, pushin' ya away."

'_The hothead gets scared after all.'_ I shake my head at myself and clamber into bed. _'But looks like they'll make up after all. They always seem to, even when they're at each other's throats. Raph, I just hope you know how lucky you really are. I don't hate you, I never could, I was just jealous and young… Young. I really was. Even though this was all only a few months ago.' _A yawn escapes me. _'And now, I have bigger things to worry about. Karai. I thought maybe falling for my "sister" was bad enough, but…'_

Rolling onto my side, I stare at the wall trying desperately to think about something calming. My day flickers through my mind, lingering on the moment between Karm and I.

_'I love her, my little sister. That's what she'll always be to me, even if I did want more, even if at one point she wanted more.'_

"I love ya."

"I love you too, ninja boy."

'_They're happy again…' _With a smile, I close my eyes. _'Until tomorrow when they'll inevitable argue again.'_

* * *

**Author's notes- **Okay, i'm really really sorry it's so long, I cut it down lots, trust me. I wanted a longer talk between Leo and Karm, but if I did that, I knew Raph and Karm wouldn't make up and that'd 'cause problems in the next chapter. If how Leo and Karm end up talking on the floor and how Karm and Raph make up seem strange, sorry but I speak from experience. I know i've sat on the floor on the phone to my boyfriend when we've been talking about something serious and we've made up that quick after an argument too.

What else was I going to say...? Hmm. Ah, yeah. Sorry if Leo seems a little out of character. Vulnerable Raph I can do, vulnerable Leo... not so much. Any tips would be good.

I'll get the next chapters up soon. Ideally, I want to finish this before New Year, it really won't be a long story, just vital to the plot but I know that I probably won't. I'll try my hardest though! And I really need to stop mumbling at the end of chapters...


	6. The Calm Before The Storm

**Author's notes**- Just the usual, I don't own the TMNT but I own my characters.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm REALLY sorry. I haven't had time to review anything and the only reason that this story is now finished is 'cause I had a few snow days and didn't want to do my work. I can't promise I can get around to review any stories because I just have so much college work to do, but I'll promise to try. Please don't be mad? I have lots of chapters for you and cookies…?

The Calm Before The Storm.

"Okay, you can do this Karm."

I pace backwards and forwards a few times, two kittens following my every moment with their eyes until a bored Klunk decides he wants to wrestle. Stopping to raise an eyeridge at the orange kitten irritatingly tapping at the black kitten, I shake my head and continue my pacing. The soft mats on the dojo floor muffle the sound of my feet to a dull padding but I still fear my huffing and sighing is loud enough to wake my entire household up.

"Okay. Right. Meditation, c'mon, you can do this."

Breathing in slowly, I halt. I daintily sit into the lotus position, close my eyes and relax my hands onto my knees before deciding to put them in my lap instead.

'Concentrate on your breathing, relax, you are relaxed, you are relaxed, you are relax-'

"Miaoww…"

My eyes creak open to glower at the two bushy tailed cats before closing again.

'Calming thoughts, calming thoughts, calming-'

"MIAOOW!"

"Klunk!"

I stroll over to the two animals, picking them both up in different hands and putting them eye-to-eye with me.

"Klunk, this is called being quiet, being quiet does not include: caterwauling, beating up Theo, purring loudly, purring quietly, purring at all-… quiet means quiet, shush, silence, peace, do you get it?"

The cat pouts and softens his eyes causing me to give out a low groan.

"Not the face, not the cute kitty cat face… look, go play with Mikey okay? He's asleep, you two will get on like a house on fire… I think he has milk and cookies in his room."

At the sound of the magic word 'cookies', Klunk perks up and struggles to get out of my grasp. I let him down and he mooches off in search of his owner.

"Theo," I hold my kitten up to eye level. "Three words my amigo. Grow. Some. Balls."

The kitten cocks his head and mews, earning a sigh from me. I put him down on the ground and he happily brushes against my legs.

"Oh yeah I forgot, you don't really understand me..."

I shut the dojo door and settle back into my place, Theo deciding to curl up in front of me. With a smile at the small animal, I close my eyes and try desperately to relax. The tenseness in my shoulders runs across my muscles like fire and my head still contains a dull ache from the blow to my head from the day before. As much as I try to clear my head, as soon as I find it quiet, a loud thought erupts out, trickling off into other thoughts that soon find me tumbling down a hill of thought. I sigh and squeeze my eyes tighter.

"Please, I need to do this, please let me go, _please_."

A lump starts to form in my throat and as I try to swallow it down, tears burn at my closed eyes.

"Why can't I do this?" I begin to cry. "Am I really so _**useless?!"**_

"Karmy?"

I open my watery eyes to see Mikey at the door, Klunk cradled in the crook of his arm. He looks worried but still too sleepy too understand at the same time.

"Why are you up dudette?"

"I-I needed p-peace and-and-and-"

I find myself breaking down completely and slump, head in my hands.

"S-shell… Uh, yeah, can you stop crying? Please?"

His last word sounds desperate, as if he's about to cry too, but I find myself unable to stop.

"Shell shell shell…" He murmurs.

"I-I'm s-s-so-sorry Mikey," my breath hitches, "I j-just-"

My brother pulls me into his warm, strong arms and I twist into him, sticking my head into his neck.

"It's okay Karmy, it's okay, I'm here for you." He says softly, even a little timidly. "It's okay, it's okay."

He whispers to me soothingly whilst rubbing my shell and gently rocking me until my sobs subside enough for me to talk coherently.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

"I don't know…" I sniffle and pull my head from his neck. "I didn't mean to cry, it's just a bad time of the month for me I-I guess and I've got a lot going on in my life right n-now. Sorry, I don't think you'd understand."

"Why does nobody think I understand…?"

He sounds hurt and I pull back to look at him, bare eyes boring into the floor.

"Oh Mikey, I'm sorry… that was stupid of me, I guess…" I swallow hard, "I guess you'd understand best out of anyone."

"I'm not a baby… I thought if I could help you, you'd see I wasn't but I guess you can't."

He turns his head away from me and I sigh.

"Mikey," I place my hand against his cheek and turn his head to me, "you're not a baby, I know, and you have helped."

"Really?"

"Really really."

Looking back to me, he smiles a little and I return it. He releases his grip a little on me, one arm still supporting my shell whilst his other hand reaches out for Klunk pushing against his knee.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure."

"I have superpowers."

His eyes go wide then narrow playfully as he sees my grin.

"Not funny Karm, I thought you were cool for a minute there."

"I am cool."

He snorts, "Yeah, you're a superhero alright, you are Nerd Girl, sidekick of The Brainiac!"

"And you're _my_ sidekick… Smelly Boy."

"Hey, I'm the Turtle Titan!"

He puffs out his chest and I laugh, knowing he's finally himself again.

"Okay, I really do have something to tell you, it's why I'm down here… Do you believe in ghosts Mikey?"

"Why?! Is there one in here?! DO YOU SEE DEAD PEOPLE?!"

"Michelangelo! Here I was thinking you were being serious."

"Sorry." He ducks his head with a sheepish grin. "I kinda don't know what I believe… I guess I believe what I see."

"I'm like that too, at least, I used to be…"

"Karmy?" Mikey's eyes soften. "What happened to you…? What did Drako do?"

"It's not important but what happened yesterday is. When one of Bishop's soldiers hit me around the head, I had a dream about somebody I've never met."

Blue eyes widen, "Shinrai?"

"No. Somebody I didn't even know existed. My brother."

"Your… brother? Karmy I don't understand."

"I hardly do either, it's hard to Mikey but I promise I'll explain when I understand. That's why I need to meditate, he said I could talk to him if I meditated, but I got so frustrated because I just couldn't, I was too stressed."

He cocks his head in thought.

"Well, crying helps, maybe you won't be as stressed now."

"Hm, you're right, I-I guess I'll try again…"

With a sigh, I close my eyes and adapt my meditation position again, only this time, a warm hand takes mine.

"Mikey?"

"You sounded scared, I don't want you to be scared," he smiles a rare smile, "so I'm gunna meditate with you, because you're my sister and I need to look after you."

"But you _hate_ meditating."

"Not as much as I hate you being scared."

"…Thank you."

He smiles again, breathes deeply and closes his eyes with me quickly following suit until I find myself lost in the midst of calm thoughts…

* * *

Slowly, I open my eyes and glance around the dojo, looking almost ghostly. With no Mikey beside me or any kittens around, my eyes widen.

"I did it…?"

"You bet you did."

Ai steps into view from behind me, smiling kindly but with no sign of his wings.

"Ai…"

"Well done."

"I don't get it…"

"People can contact you through meditation, if you shut yourself away too much, or if there's somebody you can't talk to physically, you might be able to find them mentally, it depends on your connection with that person. Luckily, we were really close."

I turn my head away, frowning in thought, trying to work it through my mind.

"C'mon," he holds out a hand to help me up, "let's hit the rooftops, I know you like them."

Almost in a trance, I get up and follow my brother out from the dojo into the Lair, glancing around at the strange fading room.

"Why is everything… fadey?"

"Hey, this is your first time unlocking this part of your head, it's a little shaky, it'll get better and before you know it, you'll be stepping out into places you don't even know."

Thinking, I nod as Ai takes my hand and leads me down the sewer tunnels.

"Ever wanted to fly, sis?"

His eyes twinkle like an ocean in the dwindling dusk whilst a grin starts to slowly creep over his features. Shyly, I nod again, my voice seeming to have disappeared for now.

"Then… let's go fly."

Suddenly, his wings appear, growing ghostly from his shell until they fully form. Grinning wider now, he climbs up the nearest ladder leading topside and I quickly follow, watching how he only just fits through the manhole with his wings.

"Ah, the night. So peaceful, so calm."

Ai breathes in deeply and spreads his wings out far. I take a moment to admire their beauty, how delicate each feather looks yet how strong they seem as they stretch out.

"They're beautiful…"

"Hm?" He turns to me, eyes flicking to his extra appendages for a moment, "Oh, the wings, thanks."

"Can I…?" I hold my hand out.

"Sure."

Softly, I stroke the very tip, the velvety touch tickling my fingertips slightly whilst the warm invades my skin as a soft blanket of feathers surrounds me.

"Wow…" I breathe.

He brushes around me to hold both of my hands in his.

"You need to trust me, you can't panic and struggle, okay?"

With a nod, I grin.

"Then… c'mon, catch me if you can."

He races for the nearest building and scrambles up the fire escape stairs but I tear after him. Laughing and grinning, he looks down at me as he clambers over the edge. I find myself next to him only a few seconds later. Silently, he takes me into his arms, my shell pressed into his plastron and with a smile he nudges us to the edge of the rooftop. I glance down at the ground and my breath hitches in my throat slightly.

"Wait, I never saw you fly, how do I know those work and they're not just for show?"

"You trust me."

Picking me up from my feet, Ai dives from the edge and I scream. The wind pushes past us as we plummet downwards and I close my eyes, cautiously opening them again as I hear the rapid beat of wings.

"Please, _don't_ scream like that again."

My horror turns into joy, my hitched breathing turning into giggles as I see the city below us. Ai soars us over building rooftops, dipping and swooping lower and higher.

'_And I thought leaping _across_ rooftops was cool, now I'm flying _over_ them!'_

The winged turtle goes into a short dive and I squeal in delight. Playing off my reaction, he soars upwards and does a small turn in the air, earning another delighted reaction from me. My legs dangle down in the air and I finally relax into my brother's strong, safe arms.

"Stop looking down and look up."

I oblige and find myself staring into a star-glittered navy sky, gasping in awe.

"Ai… it's beautiful."

"I know, but sorry, my arms are aching, you're not as little as you used to be, I'll have to rest. Pick a rooftop, any rooftop."

"Umm… that one."

"Aye captain."

He swoops down gracefully, gently setting me on my feet before flying over my head and dropping down next to me.

"That was so much fun."

"Mm-hmm." His gaze stays fixed on his feet dangling over the building.

"What's wrong?"

"I should be asking that… Innen, what is it that's troubling you?"

"Noth-" His ocean eyes pierce mine, "…okay, I can't lie to you. It's my big brother Leonardo-"

"I know who all your new family are, you don't have to explain."

I flinch slightly at his tone, "are you mad I have a… 'New family'."

"No." He glances away.

"Ai-"

"No. Leave it, forget it." He says shrugging.

"Then how do you expect me to talk to you?"

The male turtle sighs.

"Okay, I'll explain, after you've explained to me."

"Well…" I start to fidget, "I'm worried I've messed things up with Leo, I should never have told him how I used to feel."

"You're not the least of his worries sis."

"I'm… not?"

"His heart's being hurt by somebody else, not you."

"Who?"

He glances at me to shake his head.

"I shouldn't really tell you anything… if you guess on the other hand, I don't mind verifying your guess."

"Okay… Um… I guess it's a human, seeing as i'm the only girl turtle Leo knows so... April?"

"Nope, somebody… not as close, even considered an enemy by you."

"…Karai?!" I gasp and my eyes widen.

"Don't get mad at him-"

"But she's on the other side! How could he?!"

"Innen, I said not to get mad at him, sit down already."

With a huff, I drop back down by my brother's side.

"What has she ever done to hurt your family?"

"…Nothing."

"All she's doing is following her father, is that really so bad?"

"But… I know how it is to have an evil… 'father'. I fought against Stockman, she should fight back against the Shredder!"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down. Look, you and Karai, you're completely different and so are Stockman and Shredder. Stockman would never kill you, Shredder wouldn't think twice about killing Karai… and besides, Stockman's always done things to wrong you, the Shredder's never hurt Karai, she loves him, he is a real father to her. You can't blame her for the way she's been brought up."

"I… I guess."

"There's no 'I guess' about it sis, you know I'm right."

I look up to his twinkling eyes and give him a small smile.

"I know you are."

"Now, while we're on the subject of Karai and Shredder… I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"He's planning, something _big_ and soon…" He exhales heavily. "After the Triceriton's invasion, Saki helped to rebuild the city, after all, he's pretty rich, right?"

"Yeah, but what has that got to do with-"

"Just listen. Saki helped rebuild the city, he got rid of the Triceriton wreckage, but where exactly did this alien technology go?"

I shrug, not having thought of it.

"The Shredder is an Utrom, _an alien_… he used it to build a spaceship. He's going to leave Earth to wreck havoc on the Utrom race, they're number one on his list, but who do you think are number two?"

My eyes widen and my mouth drops open, but words can't form.

"Innen, you need to stop him. Once he's destroyed your friends, the Utroms, he'll come back to Earth to destroy you and your family."

"When is he planning this?"

Ai shrugs, "Sorry, I can only see what people are doing, I can't read thoughts. I might keep a vigil over you, but I keep an eye on your enemies too."

"Thank you." I smile then yawn. "Sorry."

"We better get back, if you fall asleep, you'll go back 'home'."

I nod sleepily and Ai picks me up in his strong arms, fluttering us both down from the rooftop. Silently and solemnly, we walk down the sewer tunnels, my eyelids getting heavier with each step.

"Ai?"

"Hm?" He steadies me with an arm around my shell.

"What about…" I yawn again, "Shinrai?"

I feel him stiffen slightly, then relax.

"She's safe. I promise."

"Do you know where she is?"

He hesitates, "yes."

"But you won't tell me?"

"No. I'm not supposed to interfere."

"But you told me about Shredder's plan?"

"I told you he was building a spaceship, I didn't say where."

I glance up to see him grinning slightly and smile back sleepily.

"Thank you."

"_De nada, _okay sis?"

We wander into the dojo and I slump down onto the mats, head in my hands and eyes closed.

"I love you Karma."

A small kiss brushes my forehead and as I try to reply, I feel myself pulled away.

* * *

Sleepily, I open my eyes to soft snoring. I glance over to a sleeping Michelangelo then stifle a chuckle before everything comes back to me. My eyes snap open wide and I struggle up, stumbling out of the room towards my sensei's room.

"Sensei-"

My master opens the door, his eyes wide but also full of wisdom.

"My daughter, I know. I too had a vision."

"We need to stop him."

"And we will." He embraces me softly.


	7. Broken And Breathless

**Authors notes- **I don't own the TMNT, the kitten, the two girl turtles and the cocky winged turtle are mine.

I decided to do this a little differently than the cartoon version, hope it's okay and sorry it skips a huge part out of it… and I'm still sorry I haven't gotten around to reviewing or anything. Oh yeah, I forgot to say in chapter 6, seeing as this is finished now, I'm just going to upload all of it. Don't worry about trying to read it all in one go, it might be a bit much, just enjoy either way.

Broken and breathless.

The arrows in the quiver on my back rattle as I leap from rooftop to rooftop and I grasp my bow carefully. I hardly hear Mikey's footsteps next to me and glance to my side to check he's still there. Giving me a grin and a thumbs up, I smile back.

"Nervous?"

"Me? Nah, you?"

"I'd be lying if I said the same."

"We'll stop the squishy alien dude, your bro has faith in us..." The orange-banded turtle hesitates. "What's he like…?"

The dusky pink sky stretches ahead of us, an ominous skyscraper blotting the pretty morning.

"Well, his name's Ai, he's a bit cocky and he has this irritating grin… hey, kinda like-"

I smirk at the narrowed baby blue eyes.

"So… you can talk to dead people, huh?"

"I guess, but don't get asking me to talk to your dead goldfish, okay? It doesn't work like that."

I leap off the rooftop and elegantly land on the next one, the arrows on my back giving another rattle. Mikey lands next to me and we creep towards the edge of the building, both concentrating on the skyscraper in front of us.

"I guess we've just gotta wait for the signal from Brainiac."

As I straighten the headset nestled in my hair, Donny's voice crackles over it.

"_Uh, Mikey, I can hear you."_

Sheepishly, my youngest brother grins.

"Don't worry Donny, I've got the situation under control."

"What situation?"

I deliver a swift smack to the back of Mikey's head and he yelps.

"The hitting you upside the head situation."

_"Leatherhead and I are making our way down the sewer tunnels that lead to the Foot HQ, I'll get in contact with April to see if she's found out how to help us shut down security, hang in there."_

"Got it."

The line goes quiet again and I crouch down by the rooftop edge, eyes concentrated on the Foot's HQ whilst Mikey pouts.

"…I spy with my little eye-"

"Something beginning with ILBB."

"I… L… BB?"

"Irritating little big brother."

Mikey pouts and I pat his bald head with a grin.

"Leo, Raph, sensei, are you okay?"

"_We're all fine, jus' feelin' sorry fer ya."_

"Why?"

_"Ya got Mikey."_

"Raaaph!"

"_And I thought this was supposed to be a serious mission…"_ Leo mutters.

_"It was Leonardo but then it was decided to bring Michelangelo."_

_"Nice one Master Splinter!"_ Raph chuckles.

"Oh great, now I got sensei picking on me too."

_"We're in place, how about you two?"_

"Just waiting for Donny's signal and we'll be in."

_"Head straight for Shredder's chambers. Remember, you two are the quickest and stealth-… Karm, you're stealthiest so try to get to the top first, you can warn us of any nasty surprises and we'll be right behind."_

"Got it."

"I'm not stealthy?"

A silence from the headsets.

_"Good luck."_

_"Yer gunna need it."_

Once again, everything goes quiet and Mikey pouts.

_"You're all clear to go in."_

"Okay Donny, I'd had enough of Mikey's pouting anyway."

I swipe an arrow from my quiver and carefully line it up on the bowstring. I pull the string back then release it, letting the arrow fly in an expert arc, the rope slivering after it. As the arrow drives itself into a wooden beam beside a balcony, Mikey ties the end of the rope to a ventilation shaft. Using the bow, I slide down on the rope, my brother quickly following.

"Mikey… I love you, okay bro?"

"Yeah… I-I love you too."

We share a quick hug on the balcony before hurrying inside.

* * *

"Only 8 minutes and 37 seconds until I have the full power of the ship."

Professor Honeycutt speaks from Don's palmtop currently plugged into the control panel for the huge power core running straight through the middle of the room. I sigh heavily, finally being able to breathe for the first time that day.

"Ya 'kay Karm?"

"Yeah, being attacked not only by Shredder but also Bishop and the Elite in his HQ then being blasted into space on a spaceship that he'd built out of Triceriton alien technology so he could wreak havoc on the Utroms is a normal day for me really."

Raph grins a little sheepishly at my sarcastic glance before Leo speaks up.

"Professor, can't you go any faster?"

"I'm going as fast as I can Leonardo."

"Okay, I guess we can hold out until then."

Immediately, I spin around as the only door to the power room opens, my family quickly following suit.

"Um, no we can't!" Mikey shrieks.

Shredder stands before us in a completely new robotic suit; complete with 4 arms, a hollow midsection and two gauntlets and Karai hovering just behind his shoulder.

"Shredder… let my master's katana take revenge tonight!"

Master Splinter sprints towards the robotic monstrosity, shadowed by his four sons. My eyes narrow onto a different target.

"Karma! You are making a mistake."

Karai blocks the tessen headed for her with her katana, eyes wide and almost scared.

"How? Your father is about to wreak havoc on a whole innocent race, his own race and you're going to let him?"

She throws off the block and agilely steps backwards, swaying to the side a little as I chase her down with sweep and swing of my tessen.

"They were to persecute him!"

"Don't try to make him out as the innocent one here," I duck a punch, "he's not, he's evil!"

"He's my father! You cannot stop me trying to defend him!"

She lands a strong kick into my midsection and as I try to regain myself, the whole ship rocks, unbalancing me. As the ship starts to steady again, Karai has already made a run for Leo.

"Oh no you don't…" I mutter, jumping up out of the way of falling debris.

I dodge and swerve, finally making my way over to Karai who's currently locking katana and words with Leo.

"He was leaving our planet, why do you continue to hound him?"

I tuck my foot around my ankle in a sweeping kick, unbalancing her enough for her concentration to lapse. Once again, the ship rocks, causing Karai to stumble backwards towards the power core. Leo grabs her hand, his kind heart softening his attack.

"You are… too kind."

Green eyes lock with mine for a moment before she kicks out for me then grabs Leo's other katana from his back.

"Unluckily, I am not."

Steadying my shaky posture, I glance up to see Karai and Leo involved in a vicious battle between katana and katana. As she knocks him to the ground I go to rush for her but instead I'm snatched from the air.

"Karma, this is your last chance, join me."

"Bite me." I snarl up at the evil robotic face.

With an angry growl, Shredder's metal hand begins to constrict around my waist, luckily another rocking of the ship gives me enough time to wriggle free of the behemoth.

"I had warned you but now your demise is imminent."

I dodge the huge robotic foot hurtling towards me, dodging in and out of Shredder's legs as I desperately try to swipe at the strong metal. I watch as Mikey and Don creep up behind Shredder and jump up onto his back. He growls in fury, pulling both of my brothers from his back about to throw them down.

"Leo!"

The room suddenly falls still and silent apart from haggard breathing from the Hamato clan's eldest. Crimson pours from his right shoulder as Karai stands over him, her katana dripping his blood. Master Splinter lays motionless on the floor just behind my wounded brother. Horrified, I find myself unable to move as Raph races for the Japanese woman. I look back up to Shredder, watching as Don and Mikey distract him before dashing over to Leo.

"Leo, can you hear me? Leo?"

He raises a weak right hand and nods, but his eyes stay shut. Quickly and carefully, I place his left hand across his wound, breath catching in my throat as I realise how deep it is.

"Stay here with Master Splinter, we'll protect you, I promise you Leo."

As I stand, I close my eyes, trying to hold back the tears trying to fall.

'No Karm, not now, your family needs you. It's time the baby sister proved she's really not a baby.'

"Shredder…" My eyes open to narrow at the robot.

I carefully take one of Leo's katana, holding the heavy weapon in both hands and rush for our enemy. The sword comes slicing down onto Shredder's foot and electricity sparks off. Without hesitation, I pull the katana free to slash and slice at his legs; wires snapping and metal buckling.

"No!"

Shredder's leg swings backwards and delivers a hard kick to me. I stumble but grasp at the katana tighter.

"Don, Mike, get down here now!"

My brother's obey as we circle Shredder. As I duck underneath his legs, slashing as I run, Don and Mikey fend off two arms each, Mikey managing to hook his chuck around one of the smaller ones, leaving me to slice it off with the katana in my hands. The three armed Shredder rages once again and makes a grab for Donny.

"Don!"

The smartest turtle crumples to his knees as an unmistakable crunch of bone reverberates around the room. Teeth gritted and right arm grasping his bo even tighter, Donny regains himself, still trying to fend off Shredder.

"Mikey, help Donny away, okay?"

"But sis-"

"No, listen to me! Leo won't make it out of here otherwise, okay? GO!"

Reluctantly, Mikey tries to reason with Don, the normally levelheaded turtle showing his stubborn side for once.

"I won't leave her-"

"Don, please, you can't fight, I'll help as soon as you're safe."

As the two brothers argue, Shredder steps up to me, a giant sneer on his face.

"So, you want to face me alone Karma? If your rat master cannot defeat me, then how do you expect to?"

He gestures backwards to my master, currently being held in Leo's right arm.

"He wasn't the one that you pumped full of chemicals to make a super-army of ninja, I was."

A gauntlet-clad arm comes crashing down beside me and I give a smirk. With Leo's katana, I stab through the hand causing it to spark and crunch. The other gauntlet-clad arm comes racing for me and I duck down, looking back up as Mikey wraps his nunchucks around it. I quickly race towards it, brandishing the katana as the third hand grabs the weapon from me. Mikey gets thrown backwards and Shredder's foot rises above his head. I release the katana and push Mikey out of the way, the foot missing me but knocking me over.

"Father…!"

Karai's voice directs all of us to notice her slumped before Raph, the red-banded turtle brandishing his sai. Shredder reacts quickly and grabs my partner in mid-air.

"Put him down Shredder!"

"Oh yes, now I remember, isn't this your beloved shugosha, Karma?"

My eyes finally flash through with fear as Raph locks his red-tinted gaze on me.

"What would you do if I ever hurt him…?"

"Don't! Please don't! Don't hurt my family anymore!"

"It's too late for that, look what he has done to my family!"

Shredder throws Raph down and as he scrambles to his feet, Shredder's foot connects with his plastron. As Raph doubles-over, Mikey throws a panicked glance my way.

"Go! Get Raph away."

"Karm-"

"GO!"

As I collect myself, Shredder makes his way to the power core, ripping the palmtop away. I rush for his legs, picking up Leo's abandoned katana and drive it straight through the robot's knee. Pulling out my tessen, I rush around to Shredder's back and slash at the other leg. As an anguish filled howl erupts, the robot rips out the katana and quickly turns to me, Mikey hanging limply in his hand.

"No…" I whisper, anger and fear rushing through my veins.

"If you end their lives, maybe I will spare yours…"

"My life isn't worth it without them, give me your best fucking shot Shredder, I have no fear of death."

Forgetting about Mikey, Shredder puts him down and races towards me. Tenaciously, I defend myself as the enemy delivers punch after kick, my anger, my misery and my passion bubbling over into hatred for this man. My left handed tessen gets knocked to the floor quickly before my right handed one is, leaving me with plenty of kunoichi tricks that won't work on a robot.

"You fool, you weak pitiful fool. You abandoned your family in favour of these… these **monstrosities**."

"I've never abandoned Shinrai but I know for a fact you can't threaten me with her anymore."

"What…?"

"You don't have her, everything that you had has been abandoned on Earth. You're nothing now; you have no allies and no armies. All you have is this ship that's falling apart with missile after missile that Bishop fires and your robotic suit that won't last against a 'pitiful' turtle girl. You are nothing."

Unable to handle the truth, Shredder delivers a punch, knocking me down. Even before I can register I'm on the floor, I feel the pressure of a strong robotic foot on my shell.

"At least I will be alive, that is less than what I can say for you!"

As he slowly and excruciatingly drives his foot down on the left side of my shell, the remaining breath in my lungs is pushed out. My eyes start to close long before the first agonizing crack rips open my shell. I feel warm liquid ooze down my side as two other cracks break open my back. Slowly losing consciousness of the world, I almost believe that I can breathe again and the pressure from my back is gone. My last memory is the members of my family all calling my name.


	8. Everybody Hurts

**Author's notes- **I don't own the TMNT, but I do own Karma, if she makes it.

Leo's point of view.

Everybody Hurts.

Carefully, I take a seat next to my sister's bed, her breathing barely audible. I sigh and pull back the blankets to reveal her shell, white from bandages. A small shiver rocks her shoulder and her face contorts in pain, so I replace the warm for her.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you cold."

Silence as usual.

"Mikey's walking on his crutches, I think he'll be running by the end of the week. Raph's still bed bound, heh. All those times I told him he had to be patient, well now he has to be. I guess it's a good lesson for him."

I stop, mistaking a heavy exhale for words.

"Sorry, I should stop talking to you like you're gone, it's just… I feel like you are. Without you, things are worse than they used to be. Raph's pissed off, Donny's worn out and Mikey's lost his bounce…"

I stop again, listening to a little voice in my head.

"I know, if you were awake, you'd ask, what about me? Well… I guess I'm angry. I-… I was determined not to let Shredder destroy us, but look what he's done, he's broken us. I promised I'd never let him do that but… he did. He hurt you and I wasn't there to protect you. I'm your big brother, that's what I'm supposed to do. If I can't do my job, what use am I?"

Raph shuffles and grunts a little in his sleep. I give him a little glance in the bed next to me before turning my eyes back.

"I couldn't protect him either, I couldn't protect any of you."

I hang my head and close my eyes to stop the tears.

"I can't do this Karma, I can't do this. I'm not good enough for any of you. I wish I'd never survived this…!"

My hand goes to my shoulder, grasping it to remind myself it's still real.

"This is my fault, my foolishness, my weakness, but I promise…" I swallow hard before carrying on, "I promise you, I'll be better next time…"

As quietly as I can and ignoring the sting in my shoulder, I bend down and kiss Karma's forehead gently.

"I love you, baby sister."

* * *

Karm's point of view.

"No… no!"

The own rumble of my croaky voice box wakens my consciousness and the pain searing through my body regains my awareness. My eyes open to bright white and immediately close again. I notice the throbbing in my back and try to move my stiff legs. My movement alerts whoever is in the room as the patter of feet cuts through the darkness.

"Karm?"

"Y-yeah?"

I swallow hard and wince from the pain in my dry throat.

"You're awake…"

"Donny..."

My hand uselessly wriggles its fingers when a hand finds mine.

"I'm here."

"Donny… where am I?"

I hear him inhale heavily before talking in a voice that sounds on the verge of crying and never stopping.

"You're safe. We're at Casey's grandmother's house… do you remember?"

"Yeah…"

Feeling sleep trying to pull me away again, I open my eyes carefully to see the pillow and a bedside table.

"Can I sit…? My side hurts."

"Y-y-you can't… y-your… your shell is broken. T-the Utroms said you wouldn't be-be strong enough to s-sit yet, they did the best t-that they could to fix it but-but…"

Pulling my hand away, I push my right arm underneath me and steady myself with my left hand. I pull my stiff and aching legs up despite the pain shuddering through my body. Finally sitting on the edge of the bed, I take in the sight of my sobbing brother with blurry eyes. Don sits with his head in his hands and his legs tucked under his chair. Taking the bo leaning against the bedside table, I quietly stand and pull myself forward to take him in my arms.

"I thought you knew nobody tells me what to do Donatello."

With a surprised gasp, he looks up with red eyes.

"You…"

"Shredder may have broken my shell, but he's made me stronger. I know now, I can get through this, albeit maybe a little by luck."

Suddenly, my brother stands, wrapping his arms around my neck and burying his face into my shoulder. Still holding tightly onto his bo staff with my right hand, I wrap my left arm around his shell.

"It's okay Donny, I'm okay."

"They said… they said you might never walk again!"

He bursts into full-blown sobs, his body rocking against mine. The bed behind me creaks and an unmistakable half asleep voice speaks.

"What the… Don…?"

"Grumpy as usual, Raph."

"…Karm!"

I prompt Don to sit down again, trying to wipe some of his tears away before shakily turning around to look at the emerald skinned turtle tucked up in bed.

"Hey."

"You…" He groans as he tries to sit up, face contorted in pain, but still he continues. "Ya can walk."

"Is that what this is called? I thought this was limping."

As soon as I'm by his bedside, I sit down, wincing at the pain searing in my back.

"Yer… yer okay."

"Of course I am." I squeeze his hand. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Your back… don't you feel anything?"

I look up to see a shaky Don holding himself as he stands at the foot of Raph's bed.

"Yeah, it hurts, of course it does, but that's not gunna stop me hugging either of you."

Carefully, I lean down to wrap an arm over Raph's ribs, a sharp grunt from him causing me to pull back.

"I jus' broke a few ribs is all, so be careful, 'kay girl?"

With a smile, I kiss his forehead instead.

"The trouble you get into…"

I hold my hand out to Donny and he produces a left arm encased in a cast to me.

"Is it… broken?"

He nods, all of a sudden looking very old and very tired. I urge him to sit on the foot of Raph's bed and he obliges.

"I'm so glad yer 'kay… we were so worried 'bout ya."

"Is it really that bad…?"

I reach back to touch my shoulder, bandaged up to hold my plastron in place.

"I-it's broken in three places but the Utroms glued it back together with this organic material, they said it should help patch the broken bits back together but you might be left with a few scars. You've been in and out of consciousness for the past few days, you were awake and talking yesterday, we even managed to get you to eat, but… you fell back again."

Understanding the damage, I nod. The chatter of voices drifts up the staircase before a slow steady _thud thud thud _echoes out too. As the thudding gets louder, the voices become recognisable, one an excited, undecipherable chatter, the other an approving, quiet hum. Mikey comes into the room first, hopping on his crutches as Leo hovers behind.

"…-And then we can-"

He stops, mouth open and blue eyes unblinking.

"Hey Mikey."

I wave. Without another word, he hops closer, until he's standing right next to me. He touches my cheek and gasps.

"You're… you're real."

A little taken back I nod then stand up to bring him into my arms slowly.

"I thought you were never coming back."

"I'm here and I'm never scaring you like that again." I whisper back.

Mikey starts to sob, much like Donny did, and I stroke his shell comfortingly, shushing him and whispering to him. As I look up to the stairwell, I find Leo gone and a longing for him in my heart.

"Mike, c'mere bro', I think somebody else needs her right now."

Nodding and shaking, Mikey tears himself away from me and sits beside his second eldest brother, a little awkwardly. They engage in quiet conversation as I carefully limp away, supported by Donny.

"You really shouldn't be walking so much."

He reprimands quietly but doesn't stop me. We slowly and quietly walk down the stairs to the lower quarters, gasps coming from the three occupants below.

"Karm! You're…"

"Yer alright chick!"

"H-hey April, hey Casey."

My eyes drift over to the armchair where a teary eyed father sits, waiting for me as I descend the last few steps. He stiffly stands, pulling the blanket draped over him tight around his shoulders and jerkily walks forward. I fall into his arms, head resting on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I scared you father-"

"Do not apologise." He strokes my hair softly. "You are awake, that is all that matters, my precious daughter."

I stay in my father's warm arms for a few minutes until my uncooperative legs start to shake.

"Please… I need to go see him."

My father nods and I start towards the door.

"It's okay Donny, I can do it myself now, if you don't mind me using your bo staff-"

"No, it's fine… h-he's in the barn."

"Thank you."

I close the door behind me and narrow my eyes at the brilliant sunshine. The birds twitter in the trees as I make my excruciating journey towards the barn. The dark green dress that frames my skinny figure flattens against me as the winds blows softly and my hair tickles my neck. I tighten my grip on the staff with both of my hands, digging it down before stepping forward and lifting it again to repeat the process. I grit my teeth, determined not to let the pain win but fall to my feet as I stumble. Tears spring to my eyes as the jolt shudders up my back and makes me shake from the pain. Silently, I feel a warm arm carefully wrap around my back as another hooks under my knees. With teary eyes, I look up to Leo's saddened brown eyes.

"Leo…"

"Why did you try and see me?"

"Because, you need to know this is real, I see it in your eyes."

I wince as my strong brother lifts me into his arms and carries me the small way into the barn. Placing me down onto the old soft hay bales stacked against the corner, I sigh with relief.

"I… didn't think you'd make it." He turns his back to me and I trace the bandages with my eyes that echo where his katana would be. "We all thought your injuries were too serious that you wouldn't wake up or-or…"

"I did what I had to do. I did my best to stop Shredder. I thought you were going to die and Raph and Donny were too hurt to help and Mikey and sensei were dead… I couldn't just give up, but he got me too."

"But… I heard what he said to you."

"What?"

"He gave you the choice to live, but you turned it down."

"I wasn't gonna do what he asked, he's nothing to me but you Leonardo, are something very special to me."

His hands curl up into fists at his sides and he breathes out heavily.

"I let you down."

"No-"

"Yes! I let you down!" His voice rises to a shout. "I let all of you down and it shouldn't have happened! S-She-…"

"She tricked you. That's what kunoichi do, Leo."

"And I fell for it. I fucking fell for it."

My heart lurches at Leo's words.

"…I know how you feel about her."

"I don't feel anything for her." He spits.

"Don't lie to me-"

"I don't feel anything for her!"

"Leo, why are you so angry?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not! Karm… just leave me the fuck alone, okay?!"

"No, I'm not leaving you."

"You don't have a choice."

He turns back to me, eyes a dangerous dark brown and picks me up again. As soon as I try to struggle away, my back flares up in pain. I give up as Leo silently returns me to my bed in the house. As soon as he's put me down, he leaves, ignoring the protests of his brother's.

"Karm? What happened?"

I roll onto my undamaged side and pull the blankets over my head, trying to ignore Raph.

"Karm? Karm?!"

"I need to sleep. I'm tired."

Exhausted from pushing my body beyond its limits my eyelids fall over teary eyes.


	9. Healing Takes Time

**Author's notes- **I don't own the boy turtles, only my girl turtle.

This takes place a few months after the farmhouse. They've been home a few weeks and everybody is physically healed, except Karm who gets occasional twinges of pain in her back. She also recently turned 17, as you'll find out here.

Karm's point of view.

Healing Takes Time.

"Hey Raphy, catch me if you caaan! Ha ha ha!"

"Mikey, get back here! I'm gunna rip ya shell from ya back when I get ya!"

"Ha ha ha!"

"Watch the coffee!"

I rub at my sleepy eyes and blink bemusedly down at the chaos Mikey's managed to cause just by drawing on Raph in his sleep. I lean over the railings on the stairs and watch as Don sighs, cradles his purple mug then retreats into his lab as Mikey jumps up onto the sofa, quickly followed by Raph.

"I'll give ya 'bonehead' in a minute bonehead!"

"Raph put him down."

With a small stretch of my back, and a wince, I bound down the stairs to pry Mikey from Raph.

"Look what he wrote on me!"

The red-banded turtle points above the spot where his ninja mask would normally lie where in scrawled writing is 'bonehead'.

"Well, he's right technically…"

Dropping Mikey, Raph growls and I push the orange-banded brother forward.

"RUN MIKEY!"

The youngest dashes off in the direction of the sewer tunnels quickly followed by an angry, swearing older brother. Chuckling to myself, I head for the solace of Donny's lab.

"Good morning Donatello." I sing.

"Morning Karm."

Still leaning over his desk, he absent-mindedly rubs at his head and clutches his purple mug.

"If I can just… no, that won't work, I need a… a… hmm, what do I need?"

"Can I help with anything?"

I peek over Don's shoulder in a Mikey-like manner.

"Hmm… huh?"

"Donny, I'm gunna go make you some breakfast," I pat his head, "You need food for this thing to run, not just coffee."

Skipping out of his lab, I head for the kitchen, expecting to find Leo cradling a cup of tea but instead find it bare.

"Hmm."

I shake the thoughts away and grab the oatmeal from the cupboard to make mine and Donny's breakfast.

"That… little…"

Raph comes in the kitchen a few moments later, panting and grumbling. He drops down into a chair and hopelessly rubs at his head.

"C'mere you."

I wet my fingers and rub at Raph's head.

"Ow! Karm, be gentle, I need that!"

"Don't be a baby, see, all gone, and now your head's shiny too."

He narrows his amber eyes at me but I only grin. Turning back to pick up the bowls of oatmeal, I wince and yelp in pain.

"Y'alright?"

Exhaling heavily, I nod and try to push away the pain in my back. Raph gently guides me to a chair and makes me sit down.

"This fer Donny?"

"Yeah."

"Ya eat yours an' I'll take this in fer Don."

He kisses my head softly before disappearing with the purple-banded turtle's breakfast. I push around the slop in my bowl, mixing in the honey on top to try and forget about the sting in my back. Raph reappears, clutching something in his left hand. He lays the two tablets next to my bowl and pours a glass of water.

"Thanks."

I reach for the painkillers, but Raph taps my hand away.

"Eat yer breakfast."

"I'm not hungry." I give a weak smile.

"Yer wastin' away girl, ya gotta eat somethin'."

"Half the bowl?"

"3 quarters an' I'll be happy."

With a grimace, I slowly start to eat.

"Raph, I'm really not hungry."

"Why?"

His question startles me a little but the defiant look in his eyes unnerves me even more.

"I-I'm just not…"

He sighs, not impatiently, but sadly.

"Don told me ya said ya felt a little depressed again lately… ya can tell me that, y'know."

"I know." My eyes go down to my bowl.

"I'm a hothead an' everythin' but it don't mean I don't understand."

"I just don't wanna make you angry."

"Why would I get angry?"

I shrug in response. The chair scrapes across the floor and as I think Raph's walked out on me, a warm arm wraps around my shoulders.

"I… I find it hard. I hate seein' ya upset, but Don told me there was no use bein' angry an' wantin' ta fight somethin' 'cause I can't fight this. He told me I gotta be patient an' I'm tryin'. I wanna help ya through this 'cause… 'Cause I love ya, a lot.

I was so scared I was gunna lose ya. I wanted ta sit by yer bedside an' hold yer hand but the best I could do was have a bed next ta ya 'cause a' these damn broken ribs.

But… I'm glad Leo and Donny never really left ya side, 'cause I guess that meant if ya could hear us or feel somethin', ya wouldn't feel alone or scared. An' some nights, I'd try ta stay awake with Leo so we could both look over ya. We didn't talk, we don't do that mushy crap, but I think… I think it brought us closer together…"

I look up bemused and Raph shrinks back a little by the look on my face.

"W-what?" He clears his throat.

"You… you just opened up to me."

"Yeah, well…" His cheeks flush a little, "I guess ya deserve ta be let in by now, we have been together over a year."

"Yeah…" I think back and smile, "Sorry all we did was lay in bed all day on our anniversary."

"Well, maybe _you_ did all the lyin' down…"

"Raph!"

My cheeks flush a dark green and Raph chuckles loudly.

"I'm jokin' girl, it was one a' the best days of my life."

"I wonder why." I roll my eyes.

"Not jus' 'cause we… yanno… did it… but jus' 'cause it was nice ta relax."

"Because I had a hectic birthday?"

"Yeah. Yanno, I still have the bruises from that piñata."

I giggle and look down at my breakfast.

"If ya finish ya breakfast, I'll watch that film ya wanted ta watch with ya."

"But… it's a horror, gore, blood-all-over-the-walls film."

The stocky turtle flinches a little at the word 'blood' and closes his eyes.

"I said if ya finish ya breakfast."

"All of it?"

"All of it."

"You're on."

I grin and lift a spoonful of oatmeal to my mouth but Raph quickly gobbles it away.

"You said all of it!"

"All of it 'part from that bit."

I giggle again then smile at him.

"What? Have I got some on my face?"

"No… you just make me smile. I love you Raphy."

"Love ya too."

He rests his head on my shoulder as I munch at my breakfast.

A few moments later, Leo comes in looking unfocussed and like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. His eyes drift up to Raph and I, and his drooping shoulders perk up, his right adorned with a clear deep, dark scar. He clears his throat.

"Morning."

"Mornin' bro."

"Hey Leo." I try to smile brightly.

He silently walks past us to pick up a cup, seeming to hold it in his hands for a few seconds before loudly putting it down. Raph raises his head; his eyes flicking from me to Leo then back again.

"You okay Leo?"

"I'm fine."

'Ever since we talked in the barn… he… he hasn't talked to me on my own since then. He's just so angry at everything, everyone. And there is nothing I can do.'

"I need to talk to you all later, at dinner."

"Okay… what 'bout?"

"Nothing important."

Leo leaves the room, abandoning the blue mug by the kettle. My spoon chimes against my bowl as I put down my food, my stomach too twisted in knots to eat.

"H-he's not okay."

"I know."

"What are we gunna do?"

"I don't know Karm," the second oldest turtle sighs, "I jus' don't know."

I turn my body into Raph's and he hugs me tight, eyes still transfixed on the door where Leo left.


	10. You Can Run From It

**Author's notes- **Karm's mine but the boys aren't.

Karm's POV.

You Can Run From It…

"Leonardo!"

I stand only just behind my brother on the moonlit rooftop. The wind howls and crashes around us as it throws the rain at us too, but neither of us move. He doesn't respond to his name, only stands staring over New York with his mask tails and long coat blowing in the wind.

"You lied! You lied to me, you lied to all of us!"

Unnerved, he stands.

"You sat there and told us how you loved us at dinner, how you couldn't live without us then you sneak away in the night, planning not to tell us you were going?! How could you do that to us?!"

"This is for your own good."

He speaks softly.

"How? How is leaving for our own good?"

The wind spins and throws the rain into our faces, grasping and snatching at us but still unable to move us.

"Why aren't you listening to me?!"

"You don't need me Karma. None of you need me right now, you're all strong enough and I'm not. I can't face this, I can't do this anymore."

"This is about you?"

"Yes."

"Then why couldn't you say that? Why couldn't you tell us that you were going? When I went away with April for my own good, you all knew I was going."

"What good would it do? I'd only upset you."

"This has upset me more! You weren't even going to say bye to me."

"This isn't a goodbye..."

The wind dies down and the rain turns into a small showering as he turns to me.

"I'm not leaving you, I promise I'll come back."

My eyes fill up with tears as I choke out my words, "When? When will you be back?"

"When I'm good enough."

"But you are already! Please Leo, don't go, I need you here. I'm sorry if I hurt you when we were in the barn, I'm sorry if I said anything bad, I can't remember what I said but I'm sorry either way!"

He tilts his head down and inhales heavily.

"You don't need to be sorry. What you said in the barn… some of it was true. Not the bit about me not letting you down, the bit… the bit about Karai."

"You love her don't you?"

"…I don't know. I'm still heartbroken over you but Karai…"

"She's beautiful, she's a skilled warrior, she's a lot of things that you want but a lot of things you don't."

"You're angry at me…"

"Maybe I was when I-" I debate telling him about my encounter with Ai, but deciding not to, I carry on, "When I realised, but now? No, I'm not."

"I know I shouldn't feel the way I feel about her and maybe if I didn't, maybe if I hadn't of grabbed her back-"

"If you hadn't grabbed her back, you would be feeling worse. Look, sometimes your heart does rule your head. Maybe if Shredder hadn't of known how I feel about Raph, maybe he wouldn't have been hurt… but then, look what he did to the rest of you…"

The wind picks up again, faintly whispering around us.

"Emotions aren't fun, huh?"

Leo shakes his head.

"So… you're going."

"I need to… the way I am right now, it scares me. I'm scared I'm going to hurt someone that I don't want to hurt."

"It's only because _you_ hurt."

"Maybe you should listen to what you're saying."

We finally make eye contact.

"Please take care of yourself."

"I will… you too." He nods.

We hug awkwardly and briefly, before pulling away.

"Did you tell sensei?"

"Yeah, he'll tell you all tomorrow I guess."

"Okay."

"You'll see me soon, I promise."

"Okay."

With that, he slowly turns away and steps towards the edge of the rooftop, looking down onto the next one. My hands twitch at my side and before I know what I'm doing, my legs are taking me over to my brother. I jump up on his back and he jumps with surprise.

"Karm!"

I begin to giggle at his expense, and before long, Leo's laughing along with me and spinning in circles. When he puts me down and the world stops turning, I look up at my brother.

"If you'd have jumped on Mikey, you would have gone over the edge."

"Which is why I thought it was okay to jump on you, Master Leo."

We exchange smiles before I wrap my arms around him tight.

"You better write or call us okay? Or both. And remember to eat your vegetables and-"

"I'm grown up Karm, I can take care of myself."

"This is just me saying, I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too." He hugs me tighter. "Now go home, you're shivering."

"It's worth it."

He wrenches me away.

"I love you _imouto_."

"I love you too _ani_."

With one last smile, Leo turns and steps towards the rooftop edge. Warily, he turns around.

"I won't jump on you this time."

"Good. Oh, and Karm? Look under your pillow when you get home."

My brother disappears from sight as he leaps from the rooftop. I smile bemusedly to myself and turn in the opposite direction, choosing to take a longer way home.

'_I need some time to think.'_


	11. Or You Can Learn From It

**Author's notes- **I don't own the TMNT as much as I'd like to.

Written in third person, you'll see why.

…Or You Can Learn From It.

Raphael was tearing down the stairs, quickly followed by Michelangelo. Both had panic-stricken looks on their faces as they burst into Donatello's sanctuary, his laboratory.

"Raph! What-"

A piece of paper, already been torn at the corner and crumpled a little despite being a clean sheet when it was first written on, was thrust into the turtle's face. A little too patiently for Raphael, Donatello read it, a deep frown on his face.

"We need ta go see sensei."

Nodding thoughtfully, the purple-banded turtle got up to follow his brothers into their father's room.

Their rat master had been meditating for some hours in his room already that morning. A peaceful smile was fixed on his face and his tail lay relaxed at his side. His concentration and peace were hastily broken by an alarmed knock at his door. Sighing, his concentration snapped and his eyes opened.

"Enter."

He got to his feet, with the aid of his cane, about to head for his tea set when his three sons came bursting into the room. Michelangelo would not keep still; he was hopping from foot to foot as Donatello, as calmly as always, stood behind him, eyes carefully fixed onto the paper in his second oldest brother's hands. Raphael was, by this time, breathing a little heavily from his burst of energy and clutching a very important letter.

"Sensei, this… Karm… argh!"

Agitated, the sai-wielding turtle thrust the paper forward yet again and Splinter carefully took it in his delicate hand. He wore the same solemn expression on his face as he read it, stumbling over a few words; his skills at reading English weren't as expert as he wished they were.

"My sons," He started carefully, "From this letter it is apparent what we can, and must, do."

"What?"

The aged rat stared back into the eager eyes of his sons and sighed.

"Nothing."

"Nothin'?!"

"Yes, nothing."

The strongest turtle started to talk then his shoulders drooped. He knew his father was right, he'd re-read the letter a few times before rushing into Michelangelo's room. He was defeated, as was the rest of his family.

They filtered from Splinter's room, each wandering in different directions, Donatello the laboratory, Michelangelo the kitchen, after all food was his favourite comfort, and Raphael the room he once shared with his beloved, Karma.

Once more he read the note, before carefully folding it and putting it on his bedside table. He lay down in the bed where he had once held her and closed his eyes tight. He hoped when he woke up that this would be a horrible dream, and that letter, that stupid, horrible letter would be gone.

After much difficulty, he fell into a fitful sleep, only able to dream about these words:

'_Dear Raph,_

_I'm sorry, but the reason you're reading this is because I've left. Please, don't worry, this isn't like that other letter I left, trust me, I'll be coming home._

_I know that this is going to hurt you, after all, Leo only left yesterday, but I need to do this. I'm leaving too, for a while. I'm not sure when I'll be back or even where I'm going, but please don't come looking for me. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't have to. I promise when I get where I'm going, I'll send you a letter. I'll address it to April but put your name on the front. You'll probably get as many letters as I can possibly send you and everyone else. _

_I hope you know that… I love you. I know that you might think I don't or that I don't want to live with you anymore, but I do. This is painful for me too, I'm just asking that whilst I'm away, you won't hate me for doing this to you, I already hate myself for doing this. _

_I guess you want to know __why__ I'm doing this. Partly, I don't know why and partly because I feel I have to. I have this thing in my heart saying that I need this freedom because I was caged for too long. I'm not sure who I am and I need to find that, by myself. I need to know if I'm a different person when I'm with you, because I don't want to be. I want to be myself and be myself for you. I know deep down I'm not a depressed, grumpy, anti-social person, it's just who I was made into. Some days I hate the world and everything that comes with it because that's what Stockman did to me but other days… other days I've never felt so alive, so exhilarated. I feel I could take on the world and that's who I think I am. So I'm going to. I'm going to take on the world and prove to myself I'm not scared of living. I'm going to prove myself I can do this, because that's who I need to prove it to._

_I'm sorry, I really wish I didn't have to, but I do. Everything will be okay. __Really__, it will. I promise you. Leo and I will come back. He won't be angry and I won't be broken and nobody will stand a chance against all of us. I guess this gives you time to just be with your family too. Spend time with Mikey playing stupid games and try to do stuff on the truck and your bike with Donny and meditate and spar with sensei. You're so strong; all of you, and you can do this without Leo and I. You don't need us and I think you need to prove that to yourselves._

_I love you, all of you. I love you Mikey, I love you Donny, I love you sensei and I love you Raphael, with all my heart. _

_Please take care and I promise you'll hear from me soon._

_Karma xxxx_

_P.S Mikey, I hope you don't mind looking after Theo. I know I'm going to miss out on his baby times but let him know I still care about him, okay? I'm even getting teary about the cat here…_

_P.P.S Donny, I left my cell shell. I figured it wouldn't be much use outside of New York and the battery needs replacing… would you mind?_

_P.P.P.S Sensei, I'm sorry!!! If Raph gets out of hand, he hides his special chocolate stash under the bed, feel free to confiscate it from him._

_P.P.P.P.S (Yep, this is getting ridiculous but I need to say it) I've finally realised that the present matters. I spent all my time worrying about the future and fretting over the past but… that shouldn't matter. A wise blue-banded turtle once left me a note that just said 'Only today matters'. And he was right, only today __does__ matter, so make the most of it.'_


	12. Today Matters

**Author's notes-**I own Karma, Shinrai, Ai and Theo, but I don't own the TMNT.

Just to finish off the story, a little prologue to the next story I guess. Written in third person.

Today Matters.

A small turtle girl sat shivering in the corner of the dark room. She was bleeding, she knew that much, but she was also too scared to check where from. Maybe this time they would finish her. Maybe the next soldier that came into the room would have a gun.

She wasn't entirely sure which were worse, the old Foot ninja or these new soldiers, Bishop's soldiers. She just knew that wherever Father went, she would have to go too.

Her foggy mind was trying to force her to stay away but her tired, frail body was dragging her away. With shaking hands, she reached for the small silver cross hanging around her neck and held it. It gave her comfort and strength somehow. Her Father taught her, many years ago before he was the cruel man he is today, that this cross, this symbol would protect her. He also taught her how to pray, and that's exactly what she did.

"Please… please God, I know you wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle but I don't think I can handle this anymore. Please send me more courage and strength to endure this. Please also keep looking after Innen. I hope that someday you will bring her back to me. Amen."

If she could have, she would have cried, but tears were something of the past now. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried, and she hoped that it wasn't over the Foot ninja or Bishop's soldiers. They weren't worth her tears.

No, she couldn't think like that. All she could think about were her prayers, her Father or the songs that she'd been taught so many years ago. Deciding the latter was the best, she curled up tighter, ignoring the small puddle of blood beneath her and whispered the lyrics to herself.

The door was suddenly pulled open. She raised her head, her blonde hair falling onto her shoulders and looked up with blue eyes that had lost their sparkle years ago. This soldier was drunk, she could smell it. He swayed into the room still clutching a bottle.

"Hello there little missh, are you gunna behave for me today or am I gunna have to teach you a lesshon again?"

Once again, Shinrai lowered her head. As much as she tried, she couldn't move her legs so the soldier grabbed her roughly by the hair and threw her onto the mattress in the middle of the room. She closed her eyes and whispered once again.

"Please God, make today matter, for once."

Little did she know, that her prayers were being answered, today was going to matter.


End file.
